Running Away
by SarkSilver
Summary: Set right after season 2. For Buffy, there's nothing left in Sunnydale for her, now that Angel is gone, for Spike, he just needs to get away from what he did. So they both set out on a journey that will no doubt change them both.
1. Leaving Sunnydale

**Disclaimer:** No copyright infingement is intended, no profit is being made and none of this belong to me. All of this belongs to Joss Whedon. (grumbles about bastards who take fun shows off the air.)

**Author's note:** As will become apparent in the first few paragraphs of the story, it is set in season 2 right after killing Angel, although instead of running from Sunnydale to LA, Buffy does the more practical thing and does the last thing everyone will expect.

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Chapter I - Sunnydale: Tradition (or perhaps, against it.)

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"Take me with you."

Spike froze. He turned and looked questioningly at the slayer; her face was pale, drawn and immeasurably tired. It looked like she couldn't believe what had just happened.

He didn't blame her.

Hell, he couldn't believe what just happened.

Angelus-his grandsire, mentor and greatest rival-was gone.

He had seen her close her eyes and kiss him before slamming the curved sword into his gut. His Dru had run in a last attempt to save 'her Daddy' but Spike had foiled her plans. He had swiped her away carelessly, had back handed her into the sunlight, and then watched impassively as she writhed and burned and screamed and eventually disintegrated. It had hurt him, that was true, but he had made a promise, to aid the slayer and he would stick to it.

Sides, he had told her long ago that he would not take the scraps of affection from people who gave their love to someone else, and if scraps were all he was going to get from her well then, he was going to do something about it.

He wasn't going to settle for anything other than a feast ever again.

Buffy had stared at the portal as it closed, peered at the ugly statue before grabbing the nearest bit of furniture and bringing it down as hard as she possibly could. The dormant Acathla was no match for supremely brassed-off slayer, not matter how weary, the ancient piece shattered.

He had turned and glanced at her questioningly and caught a few way ward tears spring from her eyes. he had wanted to shed a few himself, in fact, he had felt the tell-tale stinging from behind his eyes, but he forced the tears back, he was not going to lower himself enough to cry in front of the slayer. She had done enough damage to him already, he was not going to let go of his dignity so he had walked off, lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He let the nicotine enriched smoke smolder his unworking lungs for longer then any human could; maybe if he held it there long enough it would burn him from the inside. He deserved as much.

Ha! The slayer and merry little band of ignorant twits, going around staking vampires on the basis that they didn't have consciences. Vamps didn't have souls, but they had consciences, consciences were a lit trickier than the former. The existence of a completely unfeeling vampire is bloody nonsense.

They had stood in silence for a while.

It was then that he had realized that he might as well follow though with the rest of his promise, he would just leave Sunnydale. Perhaps even set off and start a whole new chapter of his unlife. spend ninety percent of it piss drunk off his arse and well, that was his plan until he felt the slayer's powerful hand on his upper arm effectively staying his escape.

He glared at her and shook himself out of her iron grip.

"Why?" he asked.

The blonde shrugged.

"There's nothing for me here."

Spike arched an eyebrow. His thoughts sweeping back to her mother and her friends and that infernal watcher of hers. Was she really that daft?

Stupid bint.

Didn't even know what he had going for her.

He tilted his head to the side and considered it for a moment. Though the slayer was not the ideal company he liked to keep, in fact quite the opposite, at least he wouldn't be alone. Alone meant thinking of Drusilla and Angelus, it meant endless hours of silence or meaningless music, it meant thinking. At least with the slayer around something would distract him.

Well, she wanted to leave behind the sodding sweet deal she had over here on the hellmouth, that was her choice. He would let her tag along with him, that is, if she could keep up.

When his attention shifted back to her, she was still staring at him; her gaze was hard but fragile at the same time, like she was desperately trying not to feel anything. It was obviously not working very well.

"Alright, slayer." he said.

She responded with a slight nod.

He lead her to the covered garage where his de Sotto was parked, they both climbed in and he began driving in silence. after a while he pulled into a familiar street, Buffy was too far gone to notice, she had though that they were on their way to outer Siberia. When he stopped at her house and looked at her expectantly, she stared back at him in confusion.

"I thought you would take me with you." she asked softly, not daring to raise her voice as if worrying her mother would hear her from all the way inside and come out and make things more difficult.

He nodded.

"yeah." he replied. "But I'm not going to be lending you my sodding clothing."

She paused for a moment, mentally processing what he had said. It took her a little longer than normal but she finally got that he wanted her to pack. She nodded silently and exited the car. He didn't have long to wait, she soon materialized back beside the passenger door; she got in and deposited her large suitcase and a few other bags onto the back seat.

"Packed enough did you?" he asked eyeing the baggage.

Buffy shrugged her face still emotionless.

"I didn't know how long we're going to be gone."

Spike smirked.

"Isn't that the point?"

For the first time, she cracked a smile, a small one.

"A big uh-huh to that."

Spike peered at her curiously for a second and shook his head. California talk. He hoped that that was the first thing that would go when they left good ol' Sunny California, because they weren't going to be anywhere near it for some time. He smirked when she shifted away from his gaze and turned to study the passing desert country side as if it was the most interesting thing in the work. After that, he kept his eyes on the road. His smirk slowly turned into a wicked grin when he saw the sign saying "now leaving Sunnydale". He gestured with his chin to the seat belt.

"Strap yourself in, slayer." he said. "S'going to be a wild ride."

She complied immediately, but before she could ask what the hell he though he was doing, he accelerated and powered right through the sign.

"Did we have to do that?"

Spike chuckled under his non existent breath.

"Tradition, pet."


	2. Route 101

**Author's note**: reveiws make me happy, so keep them coming, I'm trying to work more on my grammar, but i CAN be sloppy sometimes so please, forgive me for any minor mistakes you encounter.

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Chapter II - Route 101: Are We There Yet?

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They had been on the highway for about four hours now. Four hours that had gone by in relative silence. Buffy brooded about the event of the last few months. Knowing she had lost Angel long before she had killed him. She was devastated that it had to come to this, but not so much from having to kill her true love as she had expected. She was more upset over how her mother had taken it and the betrayal of her friends. They had given him his soul back, and they didn't even tell her. Not that it mattered much; she had to do what she did.

She had to kill him.

Enough.

No more Angel-centric thoughts. Angel was of the past.

She chanced a look at Spike.

His jaw was set and his face blank but she could see from the stormy look in his eye that similar thoughts were rushing though his head. A few second of inward debating left her deciding not to question him, after all, he did the same for her. They were not friends; just because they were both devastated by what happened didn't mean that they were suddenly soul mates. A pause. Well, not that they could be soul mates anyway, Spike was devoid of soul. And yet he empathized with her. She knew he had only allowed her to come along because he didn't want to be alone, and she was grateful, she didn't want to be alone either.

Still, she wondered what went on under all that bleach.

"Where are we going?"

Her voice jolted Spike out of his own thoughts.

"Las Vegas." he said simply, his eyes focused on the long stretch of desert highway in front of him.

She waited for an explanation, staring at him expectantly. It was about a minute before she realized that she was not going to get one.

"Why?"

Spike exhaled slowly.

"Because I have a contact there than can give us some new passports." he said.

"But why?" she asked, she rummaged around in her purse for a few seconds and then produced a small blue booklet. "I brought mine."

This time Spike looked at her disbelievingly.

"Thought you might say that." he said. "Sodding bint. see, I was under the impression that you wanted to get away, slayer." she was about to speak up but he quickly added, "use that thing and I grantee you the council will find you, catch you and then have you pinned as a rogue slayer and shop you off to 'rehabilitation' in less time than it takes for me to drain your blood."

Her eyes narrowed at the mention of blood drainage, but she assented. She didn't bother to ask what a rogue slayer was, the name was really rather self explanatory. She did wonder how Spike knew all of this, though.

"You pick these things up." he replied vaguely when she asked him.

She understood that she would have to be content with that because she was getting no other answer.

"All this talk of making with the rule breaking rouge-ness or whatever, reminds me, we have should set some ground rules," she said. "Its looks like we may be together for quite a while."

He turned to her.

"Who says so?" he asked.

Buffy frowned.

"Oh," she said, her eyes wide, for a moment there she had thought that everything was going to be fine. She had no idea how to strike it up on her own and rather hoped that Spike would help her. Oh to what lengths she had fallen. Spike would help HER? "Well, I though that-"

Spike chuckled and shook his head.

"Called a joke, slayer." he said.

She was unamused.

"Jokes, usually big with the funniness, Spike."

The vampire shrugged nonchalantly.

"I thought it was funny."

Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.

"Just for that," she said. "I get to make the first rule."

He arched a scared eyebrow but said nothing, waiting for her to continue, wanting to see what she would come up with.

Buffy smiled triumphantly.

"No killing."

"fine." he said.

She stared at him.

"You're just going to agree to that?" she asked. This was much easier than she though.

"Well, I figured that you would say that." he said. "I can just take a little and I'll be fine."

"Spike, you misunderstand me." she said. "I meant that I don't want you hurting people." a pause and a grimace. "Not that you care what I want. But still, not on my watch."

Spike looked incredulous.

"Bollocks." he said dismissively. "How am I supposed to get a decent meal?"

"There's the butcher," she said beginning to tick off the possibilities on her fingers. She didn't want to mention taking the donated blood because that meant that some sick person would not be able to get to it, but then she rationalized, butter a few sick people than a lot of dead people. "The hospital, the blood bank... the possibilities are endless."

Spike stared at her hard and then shrugged.

"Fine. But you're heating it up." he said.

Buffy nodded.

"Deal."

"Right, then." he said. "I'll make the next one."

She nodded for him to continue.

"No slaying."

"What?"

"You heard me." he said. "You want to leave behind the vampire, Luv, and then I left the slayer back in Sunnydale. None of this 'I'll stake you' or 'throw you out into the sunlight' bollocks every time you aren't winning an argument or are feeling just a little bloody prissy."

Buffy's mouth dropped open.

"That's not fair!"

He shook his head.

"I don't kill, you don't slay." he said. "Sounds fair to me."

Buffy crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows.

"I can't just not slay things!" she pouted. "People are going to die. Wait a second, why am I even arguing with you, I have a stake, I can make you agree."

"Doesn't work that way, Luv." he said smugly, when she turned to him, about to open her mouth to talk about fairness, he preceded her. "Think about it, you'll be getting by on _whose_ dosh here?"

She shut her mouth, paused to think about it and then smiled sweetly.

"All the people that you stole it from."

He rolled his eyes.

"You slayers and your stereotypes." he said. "So bloody typical."

A pause, it was obvious that Buffy was not going to give in. Spike sighed.

"Fine," he said. "Compromise, a couple of days in a month we can go out and get a spot of violence- against vampires and demons for you and against evil rapists who prey on helpless little ladies for me, deal?"

"fine." she said rolling her eyes. She didn't need him, she could make it out on her own and she didn't want him. She did, however, need the company and she did want to see the world. He was the easiest choice. "A couple of days a week, a little patrol, a little fighting. No killing on your part."

He nodded.

"Unless the bloke's about to forefully takesomething some bird won't give or kill someone?" he added hopefully.

She considered this for a moment.

"Alright."

"Well, that's settled."

The drove in silence a little while longer.

"Are we there yet?"

He frowned and shook his head.

She nodded and waited in silence.

He was just about to immerse himself in his thoughts, pleasantly surprised that the slayer could keep her gob shut for longer than five seconds when she interrupted him. In the worst way possible.

"Are we there yet?"

"no." he repeated.

By the time the slayer got to her fifth 'are we there yet' Spike brought the car to a screeching halt. It was a good thing that there was no traffic on the road or else that stoppage would have caused a moderately sized pile up.

He turned to her, blue eyes stormy.

Buffy smiled warily, but scooted away all the same.

"No we are not bloody there yet and if you continue to pester me in such a fashion I will deposit you on the side of the road and have you hitch hike your way to neverland." he paused. "Are we clear?"

Buffy nodded and rolled her eyes.

"Party pooper." she said. "Spoil my fun."

He put a cigarette between his lips, not caring that the windows were up.

"That's what I'm here for."


	3. Las Vegas

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Chapter III - Las Vegas: The Sins of Sin City

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They ignored the strip and went down Cheyenne road finally stopping at the Suncoast Hotel. Buffy looked up at it. A decent place, perhaps not as glitzy as she would've liked, but at least she wasn't getting some old nookie drive in motel.

It was nice inside, just the kind of thing she was expecting of Las Vegas, scantily clad waitresses prancing around and old people up from Florida pulling absently at the slot machines that dinged in front of them.

She and Spike spent all of five minutes at the front desk and the bell hop lead them upstairs to one of the double rooms with a gorgeous view of the Las Vegas strip.

Buffy walked around the room, what the Suncoast was charging seemed a little too cheap for what it was. Of course, Spike had pulled his fangs and ridges on the unfortunate girl manning the front desk and she said they could stay for as long as they wanted with no charge.

She practically threw all the money she had at him when he said thank you.

"S'wrong with it?" he asked suddenly, as if reading her mind.

Buffy shrugged.

"I don't know." she said. "I thought we were going to stay in the Luxor or something."

Spike arched an eyebrow.

"You are a strange girl, slayer." he said. "Kill off vampires and yet you want to go sleep in a big imitation of a tomb."

She froze.

"Don't call me that." she said sadly. "I can't be the slayer anymore." she whirled around and faced him. "I thought that was the whole point of this? To leave behind who we were."

Spike opened a window and lit a cigarette.

"No, you left to leave behind who you are." he said. "I just left."

"I'm not the only in running away mode."

His eyebrows shot up.

"Running away?" he asked. "Who said anything about running away?"

"I thought that was what we were doing?" she said. "Running away leaving all of it behind us."

Spike peered at her thoughtfully. He waited for her to mull everything over in her mind then shook his head.

"Well, yeah." he paused. "But that doesn't make us any less of who we are?"

Buffy looked at him strangely.

"Someone's obviously been spending too much time with his crazy girlfriend of the ex variety." she said. "Because you are so not making sense."

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"We didn't leave who we were back in Sunnydale, we left our habits and our friends and our families." he said wearily. All of this was so obvious to him, why didn't she get it? "But we didn't leave us. We are still-you know what? Why the bloody hell are we talking about this?" Buffy recoiled from the sudden change in conversation. "We're in sin city, lets go be bloody sinful." he paused, remembering present company and grimaced. "And I use that term lightly."

"No, I want to talk about this." Buffy replied crossing her arms stubbornly. "This is a completely non-character. I'm the slayer-or I was- it's just not like me to make with the running-thing."

"Except that you did it." Spike put in matter of factly. "I didn't make you come with me, slayer. You wanted to leave. For once, you didn't want to fight. I get it. Now, can we stop sitting around and discussing things and get one with out bloody lives and un-lives? I'm bored and I can't even kill people."

She sighed exaggeratedly as he strode ahead of her. She followed after him muttering disgruntled under her breath.

"Oh, you are suffering." she snapped sarcastically. "I can't even kill the one thing in the world I want to kill."

Spike stopped abruptly and turned to her; she did not anticipate his sudden movement and slammed right into him. She was about to fall but somehow managed to steady herself. She looked up at him ready to reprimand him for stopping so suddenly when she caught his liquid blue eyes.

"You want to kill me?"

His voice was wounded, it almost sounded hurt.

Buffy was at a loss at what to say. She did want to kill him, but not when he asked like that. It never really hit her that he might actually be hurt rather than angry at her trying to kill him.

He smirked after she hesitated.

"You humans." he said shaking his head as he turned on his boot heel and continued down the twisting corridor. "You just make it all too easy."

Buffy glared at him with a new fervor.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

Spike pressed the down button.

"That was a lesson, slayer." he said smugly. "Demons aren't just there to be killed, you know? You had your little merry band of Scoobies back in Sunnyhell and you turned your back on them. You're out in the real world now, slayer, different game, different rules and all you've got is me. So learn to live with me, love, because it's going to be a while."

She said nothing to him after that, but followed when he lead her out into the hall and into the elevator, she figured this was what he meant when he said 'go be bloody sinful'. She was surprised when he led her down to the lobby and completely by passed all the black jack tables and slot machines, striding purposefully towards the exit. He stopped next to the big glass and brass doors and tilted it open.

Buffy peered at him curiously when he did this. Just what was he doing? Was he trying to see if the sun was out or something? She would help him; it was eight o'clock at night. It wasn't. That was odd, though, because Buffy knew that vampire's had built in sun detectors

Maybe he was scanning for demons or something.

"Spike?" she asked curiously. "What do you think you're doing? If there are any demons or anything out there, let me give you a tip, they hardly use the front door, and opening it isn't going to help us if they just happened to break tradition."

He had been looking out at the cool night ahead of them, mulling everything over in his head, all the plans, everything they would need. that was at least until the bloody slayer had jolted him out of his thoughts and was staring at him pointedly, with her hands on her hips as if she was waiting for an explanation. An explanation for what? What was it she thought she was playing at?

"What was that, slayer?"

She glanced at him holding the door.

He was obviously too distracted to catch her meaning because he just clenched his jaw and said,

"Never mind. Would you just bloody go though so we can get on to my contact?"

It hit her only after she complied with his wishes. She realized what he had been doing. He had been holding the door open. For her. Like some gentleman or something.

Okay, that was weird.

Unlike her, he didn't pay it any mind, seeming not to have even noticed it. He kept right on walking, ignoring the valet who had brought his car around and got in. she decided not to make a big deal out of it and just let it go. Maybe she was becoming so neurotic even the smallest of things was upsetting her.

"Where is this guy exactly?" asked Buffy as she slid into the passenger side.

"He'll meet us at the Sphere." Spike answered gruffly.

Buffy was silent for a moment, as if wondering where that was. And seeing as how the last time that she was even in Las Vegas was easily five years ago it was not surprising that she drew a blank.

"Where is that?"

Spike pulled out of the driveway and looked at her strangely.

"Why're you so bloody interested?" he asked.

The blonde shrugged.

"I don't know." she said. Her voice was still nonchalant but it now held an edge of steel to it, she was sure that he noticed that. No matter what he said she was still the slayer and she did like not being in control of the situating. "I guess I just don't like the whole blind-trust deal. Right now, you know everything and I'm following along blindly. I don't like being helpless girl."

He very nearly laughed when she said helpless. Sure they were in an absurd situation, he was a master vampire and she was slayer and they were currently driving down the Las Vegas strip with nothing but their word and some misplaced empathy keeping them together, but still, nothing was as laughable as a slayer saying that she was defenseless.

"Then you don't have to worry now, do you, pet?" Spike asked.

Buffy narrowed her eyes.

"Spike-"

"Slayer, do you think that I would be stupid enough to go through all of this trouble just to kill you off in the end?"

"Do I really have answer that question?" she asked sweetly.

Spike let out a sigh of frustration.

"I'm helping you with this slayer, so I can take you with me."

"And why are you even doing that?" she demanded heatedly, finally giving voice to one of the million questions currently going though her head. "Drusilla's of the gone variety, remember? YOU made sure that she brought 'dust in the wind' to a whole new level."

Spike growled and turned to her so violently that she very nearly recoiled, this was after all Spike, and he was a master vampire-one of the strongest she had ever fought. After a moment though, he seemed to steady himself fought the yellow in his eyes back down to calm cerulean. He took a deep breath.

"I made a promise." he said his voice was tight and it sounded forced. "And I don't easily break those." he paused. "Now let me make this clear. You are with me because I promised to take you. That does not mean that I suddenly like you, or that I am planning to start up a whole new bloody Scooby gang."

Buffy crossed her arms and glared.

"Double that and you have how I feel."

Spike snorted.

"Yeah, whatever." he said as he pulled up into the drive way in front of the sphere. He got out, handed the keys to the valet, flashed his fangs and glared when the presumptuous boy waited for his tip. He didn't think twice before opening the door for Buffy and heading in.

It was a short drive before they stopped at yet another of Las Vegas's many hotels.

the crossed the lobby and the casino, both of them ignored the rather familiar dinging sounds from the slot machines and the occasional shout from a lucky winner or anguished loser.

It came as no surprise when Spike passed all the restaurants and coffee shops and went straight for the bar, ordering a beer for himself and a diet coke for Buffy. He handed her drink before she even had time to ask him how he knew what she wanted. She caught him sliding into a stool next to a black haired man who was nursing a scotch and took the stool next to him.

"Doyle." Spike said conversationally to the man he was next to. "Good to see you."

'Doyle' turned to them and smiled.

"Hello again, Spike." he said. "Always a pleasure to hear from you." he stopped and smiled good naturedly. "Whenever you aren't trying to kill me, that is." it was then that he noticed Buffy. "Ah and who is this? I don't seem to remember you blowing around town with a bird this good looking and I should know" he paused and smiled, as if laughing at his own joke. "I'm good with faces."

Buffy smiled. Whoever Doyle was he wasn't what she was expecting from one of Spike's contacts, she had expected a thug not a loveable geek. He kind of reminded her of Xander. At least, he was little more charming, if a little less tasteful.

"I'm Buffy."

"Doyle."

"Picked her up at Sunnydale." Spike supplied.

At this Doyle looked interested.

"The ol' hellmouth, eh?" he asked, shook his head. "Did they slayer get a good bite out of you? I heard she's a tough one." after saying this he quickly back pedaled casting a nervous glance at Spike. Worried that he may have made him seem less of a bad-ass. "'course, not as tough as ol' Spike here, he's killed himself two o' them, you know?"

Buffy looked at him incredulously and then glanced at Spike. He was very obviously trying to talk him up. Just who was this Doyle person and how did he fit into everything?

"yeah." she said. "I know."

Doyle looked content.

"Do you now?" he winked and Spike, obviously thinking he had done his friend good.

"Yes, she does, mate," Spike bit out playfully slapping Doyle upside of the head. "Because _she's _the bloody slayer."

Doyle stared at him in disbelief for a moment.

"What?" he said after a while. "Are you out of your mind, man?"

"Can I answer that?" Buffy interrupted.

Spike glared at her.

"Look, Doyle," he continued after a while. "I'll fill you in on everything later, for now, the slayer's going to need new some identification, passport, birth certificate and the like. Think you can handle it, mate?"

He handed Doyle a wad of bills. The man didn't count the money, merely pocketed it.

"O'course."

"Good."

With that, he got up. Buffy followed suit, the meeting had run a lot shorter than she had though it would. She hurried ahead, making some off hand comment about being in the hotel gift shop.

"Same time same place then?" asked Doyle. "Two days from now?"

Spike nodded.

"Very well." he cast a glance around to make sure the slayer was out of earshot when he turned back to his Irish contact.

"Listen, mate." he said, taking a piece of paper out of his pocket he held it up so Doyle could see it. "Got a long term for you."

Doyle's interest was piqued, his smile widened.

"What is it?"

Spike smirked.

"An elusive little bauble." he said. "Something I've worked my arse off to find for the last half a century or so." he handed Doyle the paper. "Find it for me, will you? Then e-mail me that you have it. I'll send you an address, mail it there wrapped in birthday gift wrapper. Sorry bout the cloak and dagger, this... this is bloody priceless."

By now Doyle figured that Spike was finished with his speech and was about to turn around when Spike grabbed him by the lapels and whispered to him dangerously.

"And if I hear about this from any other source," his eyes flashed yellow. "Then I know who leaked the information."

Doyle swallowed and nodded.

"I'll see what I can do."


	4. Phoenix

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Chapter IV - Pheonix: Passports and Air Planes

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"I look weird in my picture."

Spike rolled his eyes. Damn this bird was being finicky, if it wasn't one thing that bothered her, it was another. At first she didn't like her new name, Elizabeth Anne Sumner, even after he pointed out that it was only one name away from her real name, Elizabeth Anne Summers. After that it was the places she had been to, Doyle had had it stamped with a few false destinations. She had protested that she would never go to Texas and that everyone was way too tall there. Right now it was the picture.

"You look no weirder than usual, pet."

Buffy glared at him.

"I can't believe I'm stuck in a red eye with you for ten hours." she said crossing her arms in front of her chest. She even hard the nerve to pout. "I should have bought another magazine or something. You know, so that I won't have to talk to you or anything because that would just be-weird. No good there. Big ew-"

it was after this that he just completely tuned her out, deciding to just let himself think of the ways that he wanted to kill her. This lasted him through the short waiting period and the boarding onto the plane, and even when they were ushered to their seats.

"-you know I wonder why you decided to take the window seat of whatchamacalit? The end? The big head? The oh! Yeah the bulkhead. The bulkhead. See, Angel told me-I mean-I thought that vamps couldn't go on airplanes because there was no real way to escape the sunlight." she paused to take a breath. "So if figured we would be going on a boat or in a car or something like that, I really didn't think that we would be in an airplane."

He had finally snapped out of his thoughts and back to reality to find the slayer still yammering on about something or other. He stared at her, had she been talking all this time?

"I like the window seat." Spike interrupted midway through her meaningless chatter. "It means that I control the only window around-its staying closed-and we took a night time flight."

That made her pause and think for a second before going off on another long ramble.

"Oh really?" she asked. "So are we like following the night by going back time zones or are just stuck in night-mode, because you know I really don't get those things, why can't the whole world just be one world time you know? I wonder what its like on those show with different planets, like Star Wars or star trek-not that I watch them or anything-just do all the planets there have only one time?"

She was babbling again, and going into utter nonsense. It made him wonder just what was bothering her so much. He was sure that she was worried about something, or at least something was on her mind because, in his hundred year experience with vampires-or sometimes humans he found that usually when people babbled they were scared, or worried and did not want to admit it.

"Slayer, are you afraid of airplanes?"

This question made Buffy stop cold.

"Afraid?" she asked after a few seconds of composure, even now her voice was abnormally high. "Me? Of airplanes? Naahh!" she made an obvious dismissive gesture with her hand accompanied by a raspberry sound.

Spike just arched a scarred eye brow and shot her a disbelieving look. After a few second of this, Buffy relented.

"Well, not so much scared as never been on." she said. "So it's a little-freaky, yeah that's the word. Perfect wordage. Freaky."

"What's the difference?" he asked.

Buffy looked indignant.

"Well that is of the obvious." she said heatedly. "Scared has a whole lot to do with fear, no freaked has something to so with-ahh! Are we moving? We're moving. Oh God, forward motion."

She immediately forgot that he was even there, squeezed her eyes shut and physically willed herself to calm down.

Spike openly gaped, this was the impossible-to-kill Slayer of Sunnydale, and this was the little blonde who had defeated Angelus. Here she was sitting next to William the bloody on an airplane, eyes closed and muttering the same mantra under her breath,

"Everything is going to be fine." she breathed. "Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine."

"Slayer-"

"WHAT?"

Spike sighed, grabbing both her shoulder and turning her to him.

"Would you shut your bloody gob and relax?" he hissed. "People travel in air planes every sodding day!"

"And airplanes fall out of the sky every 'sodding' day." she replied with out hesitation. Then she paused, forgetting for a few seconds what was going on. "Just what does 'sodding' mean anyway?"

Spike ignored her something that only served to make her pout even more.

Abruptly, the plane finished taxi-ing and jetted down the strip at over three hundred miles an hour to achieve lift off, this time Spike had to physically clamp his hand over Buffy's mouth to keep her from screaming. She struggled against him, trying futilely to break his vice like grip on her. Spike stayed out of harms way but leaned down next to her ear.

"Slayer," he whispered. "Slayer, listen to me."

She shook her head stubbornly.

"_slayer_." he hissed again. She finally stopped struggling and he dropped his hand. "More than half of these planes falling from the sky sod happens in the first five minutes."

"How is this supposed to make me feel better?" demanded Buffy who was glad she could finally voice her opinions, it had only occurred to her too late to bite his hand. She made up for this by trying forcefully to push Spike away.

It didn't work.

"It would if you would listen for once in your life, pet." he continued he tightened his grip even more. She finally ceased stopped and sat still, she did not, however, forget to glare at him for good measure. "Now, as soon as that fasten-seat belt sign blinks off, you have absolutely nothing to worry your little empty head about."

Buffy nodded and relaxed for a full half-a-second before realizing just what Spike had said and shoving him so hard he knocked against the side of the plane. The vampire of course, found this infinitely amusing and was laughing his head off.

"Spike!" she snapped. "I cannot believe you I am so going to-"

The light dinged off.

Her head snapped up immediately, and her face colored with relief.

Spike just shook his head and smirked, maybe now he would have some peace and quiet and he did... for a little too long. Buffy had fallen asleep, and she was leaning against his shoulder.

Bugger.

At first he thought of shaking her off, after all, this was his personal space that she was intruding on, but after a moment's deliberation he decided against it. This did not at all mean that he was beginning to harbor a soft-spot of the slayer, not at all. He just had no wish to spend the rest of the flight listening to her yammer on about something or other. Maybe this way he would get some sleep of his own.


	5. London

**Author's note: **Right, i need a BETA for this story, so if anyone is interested, e-mail me, you get to see the chapters before anyone else.

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**Chapter V - London: Cadillacs, Non-convertibles and Car Radios **

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It was late when they got to London. it was also storming out something awful so Buffy quickly retrieved the gray rain coat she had brought with her and threw it over her shoulders, it helped keep out the wet but it did nothing for the chill. Spike noticed this and lead the way quickly out of Heathrow airport and off to a small warehouse a few blocks away. Even with the precautions that they took both managed to get pretty drenched.

They stopped large metal pull up door; it seemed that this was a storage place and that Spike had kept some thing here. He pulled up the metal door and gestured that she step inside. they space they walked into was bigger than Buffy imagined, the warehouse was empty save for one large mass in the middle of it that could have been anything from a dinette set or an obscenely large refrigerator.

"Lights?" she questioned of the vampire behind her. It hit her then, he had made her go through the door first. What was up with that? Was he just not man enough to face things first? Did he need Buffy to go and make sure all the badies were gone before he could go?

She was jerked out of her thoughts when Spike switched on the single naked light bulb that lit the place, and suddenly she knew what was under the cloth, it was a car. Spike pulled off the tarp.

Correction, it was a nice car. Gleaming black with windows that looked to be painted over with absolute care not to ruin the surrounding paint, not hastily sprayed on like the old de Sotto. It was tinted, not pained and could've belonged to any human.

"This is so much nicer then the one you have in Sunnydale." she commented.

Spike froze then turned to look at her strangely. It was the first time that she had mention Sunnydale since they had left the place three weeks ago. He had thought that it was an unspoken agreement that they not speak of it. He carefully loaded their thing into the boot of the car.

"You're right for once, pet." he said, his face going back to the nonchalant mask he always wore. "This here's a Cadillac."

Though most car information would have just gone straight over Buffy's head, she wasn't stupid enough not to know what a Cadillac was. Her eyes widened and she looked at the car with new reverence.

"Wow!" she said, and then her face went sheepish. "This is an expensive car, right?"

Spike stared at her and then shook his head.

"Americans." he muttered under his breath. He opened the passenger's side door and gestured for her to get inside, Buffy eyes him dubiously, and she half expected it to explode as soon as she set foot in it, like an anti-slayer device. "Well, what the bloody hell are you waiting for, slayer?" spike demanded after a few minutes of stillness. "We didn't come all this way just to look at it."

At that Buffy got in, it did not, however, wipe the confused look off her face. A second later, Spike entered the driver's side of the vehicle and he turned on the throttle. Driving though the doorway and out into the night. For a while there was no other sound other than the rain pattering on the windshield. Finally Buffy turned to Spike and asked him outright.

"What is with that?"

Spike felt himself sigh; he had been anticipating this question since they touched down in London.

"You see pet." he said gently. Turning to look at her. Buffy stared at him, she really had not expected an outright answer, and she figured she would be dealing with evasive Spike. "Here in England we drive on the left side of the road not the right. Now before you ask questions, I have no bloody idea why-"

Buffy looked shock for a few minutes and then burst out laugh. That stopped him; he just sat there glancing from the road back to Buffy. When she caught his eyes she could practically see the confusion swirling around in them. The look on his face was strange, almost cute; Buffy had never seen Spike confused before. Of course Spike had a very predictable range of emotions, anger, annoyed-ness, happiness, annoying-ness and sarcasm.

"Uh, Spike," she said when she finally managed to get her giggles down, "that's not what I meant."

In an instant, Spike was back.

"Yeah?" he asked, chuckling and turning back to watch where they were going. "Well, then, slayer, fire away."

"What is with all the 'you go first' and 'I'll hold open doors for you', Spike?" she asked bluntly, deciding there was no real way around the question. "Are you-like, scared that something's after you, because that is the only thing I can come up with."

Spike arched an eye brow.

"What do you mean, pet?"

"You hold open the doors for me, Spike." she said exasperatedly, she wasn't even sure why it bothered her so much. "You hold open the car doors, even. You don't think I notice that you wait for me to eat before you begin? Do you think someone want to poison you? Or booby-trap your car? Or shoot stakes at you as you leave the building?"

As she spoke, Spike felt his mask drop, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Had the situation been different Buffy would have found it comical, however her own eyes widened in alarm when she took in his look of horror.

"What?" she demanded. "What is it?" she really should have known. No matter how far she ran she would always be the slayer. "Who's coming?"

Again, he looked confused for a totally of a second before he shook his head, his face carefully unreadable yet again.

"No one pet." he said, running a hand through his hair.

Buffy stared at his hand. She just realized that Spike's hair wasn't slicked back where is supposed to be. She guessed that the rain had washed away whatever he used to keep them there. In its place, his hair around his head in a halo of pale tousled curls.

"What is it now?" he asked exasperatedly.

She pointed at his head, he rolled his eyes and was about to turn back to the road when he froze.

"bugger." he swore, he had just realized that William's poncy curls were back. Bloody rain.

Spike.

With a 'fro.

Like a young Justin Timberlake.

She was too shocked to laugh.

And that was when it hit her.

He hadn't been putting her first because he though he was going to die. He opened doors for her and let her begin eating before he started because he was being polite.

Polite Spike.

And she thought that she had seen everything.


	6. France

**Author's note:** Spuffy4eva, Spike really does suit a viper, however he is trying for inconspicuous, and a tinted Caddy is less suspicious than a tinted viper. and half the fun of having a viper is having a convertible.

lovely reveiws people, keep them coming. :)

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**Chapter VI - France: Spike pops The Question, and then Buffy pops The Question, There are a Lot of Questions in this Chapter.**

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"Do you want to play a car game?"

"No."

"Like eye-spy"

"No."

"Twenty questions?"

"No."

"But you don't have a radio! I can't do anything, not even look out the window! C'mon! Let's DO something."

"Its day, slayer."

"How about I ask you questions and you answer them." a pause. "Truthfully."

A smirk.

"Now, how'll you know I was answering truthfully, pet?"

A glare.

"I can tell."

A snort."

"Right."

They were driving down the English country side by now, on their way to Dover. They would hide out in continental Europe for a while; Spike missed the ice and snow. Perhaps Germany. They had a long ride ahead of them and Buffy was bored.

Obviously.

Bloody bint couldn't shut her gob for the life of her.

"Tell, you what, Spike." she said crossing her arms and putting on what he learned she referred to as her resolve face.

Here we bloody go, he thought.

"What is it, pet?"

"Okay, I'll ask you a question and you have to answer it truthfully." shad grinned and then paused. "And you get to ask me a question and I have to answer it truthfully."

He arched an eyebrow and looked at her as if she had gone completely out of her head. Did she really honestly thin he was going to play along to this absurd game? He voiced the question and she just laughed.

"Yes."

That response did not even deserve a quip and she bloody well knew it.

"I think you will play it with me," she paused and grinned. Spike hazarded a glance at her and immediately regretted it. He had a feeling he was not going to like what she had to say. "Because I won't shut up until you do."

"You wouldn't bloody dare."

And so she began:

"Spi-ike! Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Where are we going?"

"Good bloody question."

"Spi-ike!"

"Piss off, slayer."

"I'm hungry."

"So?"

"I'm HUNGRY!"

"So?"

"I. am. Hungry."

"Don't. Give. A. toss."

"When's the next gas station?"

"Tuesday."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Where are we going again?"

"Germany."

"How do you spell that?"

"Like Ermany with a G."

That made her pause and think about it for a second.

"Hey!" a pout. "Witty comments like that are _my_ thing."

"And killing people slowly and painfully is my thing. So we're squared."

"Damn it, Spike, just play the damn game!"

He turned to her look completely exasperated, and he did the absolute last thing she expected him to do.

"You know what?" he asked. "Fine."

She stared at him.

"Seriously?"

He nodded.

She grinned.

"good." then she closed her eyes and recited an incantation that she had learned by heart. She also consciously blocked out the memories of her and Willow playing truth or dare under the influence of this spell. "Saddahshi alabistae."

Spike stared at her.

"What did you do that for?"

It didn't register on Buffy's radar as strange that Spike knew the ditty for what it was.

"A truth spell." she said grinning smugly. "So neither of us can lie."

"bugger." he pulled out a cigarette, lit it and proceeded to take a drag. He seemed determined to keep quiet for a few seconds. "Alright, fire away."

Buffy grinned.

"What's your favorite color?"

Spike eyes her suspiciously.

"Black."

"Aw Spike, that's not a color, that's a shade."

"Well, red then."

She grinned.

"My turn." Spike said. He thought for a moment. "So what in the world in the mighty slayer's biggest fear?"

Buffy glared at him.

"Hospitals. Helplessness." she answered tersely. "Take your pick."

He smirked.

"So you want to be helpless in a hospital. I'll keep that in mind."

She scowled.

"Alright, evil scum," she said. "If you could kill anyone in the whole world, past present, anything, who would you kill?"

Spike was silent for a moment, and Buffy was about to repeat the question when Spike finally answered.

"William." he said quietly. "What is your favorite food?"

Buffy was thrown. She had seen the flash of emotion though Spike's expressive blue eyes before he voiced a question. A really obvious, shallow question.

"French fries." she said. "The Mc Donald's kind. Who was William? Wait, wasn't your name William?"

He sighed and nodded his head.

"The name is William." he acknowledged. "And your real name's Elizabeth."

Buffy nodded.

"But I hate being called that." she said. "So who was William before he became Spike?"

He kept his eyes trained on the road.

"A boy." he answered, this was getting more revealing than he would have liked. "If you weren't the slayer, what would you have wanted to be?"

"If I wasn't the slayer?" she asked with a sigh. "An ice skater. I used to worship Dorothy Hamil."

Spike turned to her looking shocked.

"Well, what do you know," he said. "The chosen one's just little girl underneath all that grit."

Buffy narrowed her eyes.

"And the big bad _William_ the bloody is just a little boy." she grinned. "So we're," she paused and made the air quotes. "'squared'."

He shook his head and turned away from her.

"Your go, slayer."

"Who was your sire?"

He wrinkled his forehead at that one. Buffy looked at him alarmed, his face held an emotion she had never really seen before, was it hurt?

"Would've though you already knew the answer to that one, pet."

Buffy shrugged.

"It slipped out," she admitted. "I'm sorry; I realized that it must remind you of Drusil-"

"Angelus." he said quietly. He chanced a glance her to see not pain flash across her face, just surprise. "Angelus sired me."

Buffy opened her mouth to voice a question when Spike waved it away.

"Dru drained my blood," he said. "She gave me hers, but that doesn't make a sire." he paused. "A sire's something like a parent, they guide through you first kills, they teach you everything that you must know to become the strongest. Angelus was that for me. Which is why Angel-" ha paused and read the look on her face before continuing. "-hated me like he did. Because he knew that he had corrupted something-well, Good."

Buffy stared at him.

"Good?"

Spike shrugged.

"Is it that hard to believe?"

Her stare continued, he just smirked and shrugged.

"Right, hardest thing you've ever done?"

"Killing angel."

Spike turned to her to see her looking dead. there was just no other way to say it, the spark that usually powered her, when she was fighting with him-even only verbally-the spark of curiosity that he had seen when he had spoke sincerely in front of her a few moments ago for the very first time

"You mean Angelus?"

She shook her head and then looked at him.

"What?"

He turned to her disturbed that the fact that he felt terrible that she looked dejected. Disturbed. Dead. There was not other word for it.

"What about you?" she asked after a few second. "What's the hardest thing you've ever done?"

"Die."

She looked down, and then as she stared at her feet she saw something next to it. A leather bound book.

"Hey Spike," she said. "What's this?"

He chanced a look at it, and his eyes widened for a second before his facial expression went back to his unreadable mask.

"I'm not sure, Pet, but that may just be a book."

"yes, but what kind of book?" she asked, her tone made it glaringly obvious that she knew just what kind of book it was. "This looks like one of Giles's watcher diary thingies." her glared at him astonished. "You didn't steal this did you?"

"No and I believe it's my turn to ask a question." he said. "Have you ever wanted out of being a slayer?"

There wasn't a hint of hesitation.

"yes." she dropped the book, but was beyond notching by now. "Have you ever wanted to be human again?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Reasons."

The book lay forgotten on the floor.

After that neither of them felt so much like playing, they both sat and got lost in their own thoughts for a while, until he pulled into a hotel for the night.


	7. Belgium, part I

**Author's note:** okay, Buffy and Spike are taking a pretty roundabout way of Europe so pardon me- i want Buffy to see EVERYTHING. hahaha bring on the reveiws people! you lurkers! come out of the woodwork!

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**Chapter VII - Belgium: A New Meaning to Getting a Room**

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"We have to share a room?" Buffy demanded.

Spike rolled his eyes. It was dusk and they had just pulled into a hostel at Buffy's insistence. For the last few weeks, their schedule had been erratic, mostly they drove in the day times walking thought streets at night enjoying the nightlife. Buffy took in the sights, and Spike tried not to get bored, walking behind her. all in all, they didn't talk about Sunnydale, it had been a month, and it was still there, hovering like a thunder cloud, ready to open up and start pouring.

"Yes, slayer," he said tiredly, fighting the urge to run a hand though his hair. He didn't want William's poncy curls to come shining though yet again. "We are sharing a room." he crossed his arms and then added off her look. "Bloody hell, slayer it's not as this is all my fault."

Buffy glared at him, it was very obvious whose fault her though this was.

"You were the one who stopped here!" she snapped. "Mister," she paused here and made her voice go as low as she could make it. "Oh don't worry, slayer, its not going to be that bloody bad."

Spike arched an eyebrow.

"As oppose to-" he took a deep breath and pitched his voice several octaves higher in a startlingly accurate portrayal of her voice. "Spiiiiiiike! We have to stop here or else I'm going to die! I can't stay in this car with YOU anymore!

Buffy stared at him.

"Okay, that was scary."

Spike smirked.

"I'm the big bad." he reminded her.

"So?"

"Scary's my job, you bint."

He led her down the carpeted hall and into the room that they had to be sharing. He could feel all the while that Buffy was glaring daggers into his back. This of course, just made him smile.

"At least we've got twin beds." he said as he opened the door, "not that I wouldn't mind sharing." his smirk returned and he didn't have to turn around to know that she was now making staking motions over where his heart is supposed to be.

"Just shut up, will you?" Buffy snapped. "I actually need my beauty rest." she pushed passed him and marched up to one of the beds. The one closest to the window. "And close the door behind you."

Spike complied looking on with amusement as she stomped around the room readying herself for bed. She had even switched off the lights without notifying him; the abrupt change in lighting would have rendered him blind for a few moments had he not been a vampire.

"Bint." he muttered under his breath. He walked passed Buffy, up to the window and lit a cigarette, sucking down the nicotine enriched smoke for a few minutes looking out into the clear Belgian night.

After that, he decided that he might as well get some rest also so he put out the smoldering butt and got into his own bed. he figured, frightfully so, that she would not appreciate him sleeping raw so he kept his clothes on and thanked who ever was listening that they were only going to have to share room for one night.

Sleep came to him quickly, and somewhere at the back of his mind he was glad that he did not dream. Perhaps if he did, he would not have awakened a few hours later to the tossing and turning of the girl beside him.

Spike had always been a marginally light sleeper, and at the first groan that escaped Buffy's lips he was wide awake.

"Keep it down, will you, slayer?" he hissed.

She seemed to pay him no mind tossing and turning and groaning louder. Finally, Spike got up ready to scold her for waking him up. All of this vanished when he saw why she had been tossing and turning.

He had kind of figured that she was wanking, but it seemed he was wrong.

She was on her bed her face distorted with anguish, her arms and legs flailing, trying to defend herself with an unseen adversary. He threw aside his covers and got up, padding silently over to where Buffy lay. He leaned in to get a closer look. Her flailing got even worse and she very nearly reached out to strike him, but he caught her hand.

As soon as he did that, she relaxed slightly.

"Well, that's a rub." he murmured to himself.

She tightened her grip on him and relaxed, when she had quieted down enough he began to pull away, inching her hand off of his wrist. Unfortunately, she soon as he broke the contact between them, she began to whimper and struggle again.

"Bloody hell, slayer." he muttered. He reached over and grabbed her hand squeezed it tightly.

Again, she quieted, settling back down in to a more or less peaceful slumber. He couldn't say that he wasn't surprised, she was the slayer, after all, and she seemed to be taking too much comfort out of his touch.

"slayer." he said shaking his head.

Buffy jerked awake.

"What happened?" she asked looking disoriented. She wanted to know what Spike was doing in her hotel room. it was only a few seconds later that she realized that she and Spike were sharing a room.

"You had a nightmare." he said simply.

She sighed and looked down. They were silent for a while. Just sitting there staring at each other like idiots. Spike realized a second too late that he still has his hand clasped around her wrist. He let it drop. Buffy folded her hands together in her lap and stared at them. She was wondering why she hadn't even noticed that Spike was touching her. Alarm bells should have gone of in her head, but they were dead. Just like her insides. Just like her feelings. Everything about her was dead, save her dreams. She was painfully alive in her dreams.

Spike studied her intently. she looked like she was about to cry, in fact he was sure beyond all measurable doubt that she was just about to cry. Thing was, she was fighting it, pushing her tears back with all her might because she did not want to cry in front of him.

Bloody slayers and their pride.

He rolled his eyes and picked her up.

She squealed.

"Spike, what the hell do you think you are doing?" she snapped.

He didn't stop he just dropped her on his bed and got in after her.

"Spike! Stop being such a damn Neanderthal!" she complained loudly. Slapping him none too gently. "You can't just grab me and throw me over your shoulder and expect me to-"she just realized he was getting in after her. "Spike what the hell do you think you are doing?"

Spike sighed.

"Something that I should have done a long time ago." he said. "Listen to me, slayer, like it or not, I'm all you've got," he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

"And why are you 'helping' me?" she asked, still suspicious, "helping being the operative word."

"Because the door wings both ways, pet." he said simply. "And I am not going to let you waste away, your night terrors be damned."

His hold suddenly became gentle.

"I was losing you, pet." he said simply. "Slowly and surely. I need you to be here and not this broken shell of Buffy," he paused here, but continued before she could say anything. "And it'll take time to heal, I get that. But to be on your way there, you need your sleep."

He didn't say anything after that. He reached over and switched of the light leaving the room in darkness. Spike wasted no time in pulling her close to him. Buffy's first thought was of doubt that she was ever going to sleep, the next thought she had was how and when did it suddenly become morning.

And that was when it hit her, it was the first time since they had left Sunnydale that she had slept though the night, and the first time she had gone with out dreams.


	8. Belgium, part II

**Author's note: **Happy New Years everyone! so here's a nice little angsty chapter to kick off the new year. hahahah!

Warning: this maybe a little more angsty than you are used to from me but it gets happy and fluffy again after a while.

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Chapter VIII - Belgium: Consequences of Getting a Room.

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He left late in the day.

She had woken in his arms, alarmed to find that she didn't care so much.

She hadn't hesitated when she had gone to sleep, like she had with Angel. She had felt horrible after that moment of uncertainty, like she had betrayed him. He loved her and yet she still couldn't trust him enough to sleep beside him.

With Spike it was worse. She had fallen asleep right away, as soundly, peacefully for the first time in weeks. Not even her conscience had stopped her, much less the slayer sense. Somehow, she had known that Spike would do nothing to her.

She had woken in his arms; he was already up but had not moved as not to wake her.

Another thing she had to add to the growing spike file. The vampire was considerate.

He was also the most confusing bastard she had ever met.

So she did what she had to do, she said something that she knew would spark an argument and got them back on ground that she was more comfortable with. She made him sound like an idiot and he replied with something biting and clever and then left her to her own devices, pulling a blanket over his head and informing her that he would be back later.

And just like that she was alone. Horribly alone.

She sat there realizing that this was the first time Spike had been truly apart from her in a month. She had thought she had begun healing from the Angel escaped, but as soon as the platinum haired vampire had walked out of the door, she felt cold inside.

Empty again. There was nothing to fill it, none of the anger or annoyance or even humor that filed her when Spike was around. He couldn't distract her and because of that she was thrown back into old brooding ways.

That bastard.

So she sat there, opening the window a crack to see that car was gone.

Should she panic? She was essentially stuck in a European hostel with nothing and no one. These thoughts washed over her in calm displeasure, no hysterics nor anger. She didn't even have the energy to panic.

She just sat there wrapped in her melancholy. The feeling was like a blanket, it made her feel hot and sticky and gross but she couldn't let it go, because if she let it go then what would she be?

If she was not guilty over what she had done then how different was she from the things that she slayed on a daily basis?

She needed the guilt; she needed the despair to make her feel human.

Her thoughts left her mentally exhausted, too exhausted to even feel relief when Spike's car pulled up into the driveway and the vampire himself rushed in, untouched by the late afternoon rays.

She closed the curtains and waited for him to join her, waited in eager anticipation to get rid of the piercing loneliness that she felt, even if she was with a vampire that she hated. It took him longer than expected; he opened the door a while later when night had already fallen.

"Look, Pet, I got the room next to this one. So tonight you can sleep all by your lonesome-"

Whatever he was supposed to say it was cut off by the slayer launching herself into his arms clinging to him desperately. Spike look down at her quite surprised at her out burst. What he was feeling was nothing as compared to Buffy, when he had tentatively wrapped his own arms around her she had stared back up at him, astounded beyond belief.

"Slayer?"

She bit her lip.

"Don't leave me." She whispered in a small voice, she lowered her eyes. "You don't have to hold me all night; just don't leave me all alone." She paused unable to elaborate. "I just-"

He didn't say anything for a moment and Buffy quickly stepped out of the circle of his arms, wiping her sweaty palms on her worn jeans. She focused first on the ground and then at the ceiling, basically anywhere but at the vampire who was standing in front of her.

Spike sighed, exhaling the air softly, after that; they stayed silent for a few moments. Hazel eyes still avoiding piercing blue at all costs, as if looking at him would cause her to combust, which was pretty much right.

She had left her self open, showed weakness, Spike had probably been looking for an in like this for weeks. Probably biding his time to swoop in and drive her down the last few steps around the bend. Break her totally. She knew all of this, and still her gaze was drawn to him, she needed to see him see his reaction. So she trained her eyes on his shoes. Trying to content herself to stare at the scuffed dirty combat boots. She could hear the pounding of her heart in her ears and finally she couldn't help but look up at him. She found him drilling into her with his own confused stare. Then slowly, he opened his arms, an unspoken invitation that Buffy was only too happy to give into. He let her press herself against him. Cling to him like he was the only thing keeping her sane. He wasn't sure how long they stood there, motionless and silent but when he was aware again it was late and Buffy had yawned.

Slowly, he moved the two of them to the bed. He pulled his shirt off and readied himself to sleep, tucking her in beside him. He switched of the light and just like that a torrent of fear escaped the slayer. She began to sob tears that she would not let him see even if he could hear and feel them. Try as she might, she could not stifle them. He didn't have the heart to tell her that his night vision allowed him to see every gut wrenching grimace and heave. He just held her close as she cried herself to sleep.

His last thought before drifting off himself was of her face, twisted with desolation. That is when it hit him, it was time that he put the past behind him, and she should do the same. She may not want him, and he may not want her but they were all the other had and they needed each other.

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**Author's note: **now, click on the little bos that says REVEIW and tell me what you think.

and i have a very important question.

Choose THEIR Own Adventure:

SHOULD THIS BE A BABY FIC?

send in your votes! speak up about your opinions! tell me what you want!


	9. Rome

**Author's note:** Hey everyone! sorry for the mix up but i had to adjust thetime line of the story first. okay... this is supposed to happen back when the scoobies are all in their late teens because Buffy is still about 17 ro 18 in this chapter. I'll have to repost the Scoobie chapter later, which is really okay because i totally forgot to mention ANGEL-okay i hate the guy but it opens the floor for fun Angel bashing and he plays a major role later on.. sor please don't kill me. but this is the real chapter nine.

also... results from the polls are in and the kid shall be a _**GIRL**_! for all of you who are disappointed and didn't vote, tough. for all you who wanted a boy and did vote then i have a fic called TAKEN that is a boy baby fic. the story line of Taken is, however, very different from this one, and on with the story...

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**Chapter IX – Roma: When in Rome Do as The American Tourists Do and Mimic The Romans**

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Spike and Buffy stumbled into the room at six in the morning. Spike had to literally dive through the threshold of the hotel room to keep away from the sun's deadly rays.

Buffy followed after him, quickly shutting the door behind her.

There was only a little tiny bit of him that was on fire and he put that out quickly muttering curses under his breath.

Buffy only managed to hear a pissed off sounding, _"should have hhgjfu sodding brought the gradas-frada-ghifffn!"_

He stood and quickly whipped of his black t-shirt exposing his pale abdomen, chiseled perfection marred by designs cut into him by three parallel sharp implements, claw marks from the-

"Camberaw Demon." He sneered, as he quickly dressed his wounds with their limited first aid kit.

Buffy sighed looking down at her own ruined clothing stained with purple demon goo, ripped in some places and smattered with brown-red smudges that appeared to be her own blood.

They were both on their constitutionals, she was at a cemetery dusting as many vamps as she could find and Spike was off somewhere after a non-innocent victim.

Spike had better pickings, after all this was not the hell mouth, and Rome's seedier districts held many more predators of the flesh and blood and breathing variety.

So she was about to call it a night when suddenly, a demon jumped at her. It was not particularly large, looked humanoid and didn't seem all that harmful save for its claws, but she had dealt with worse.

She also couldn't be more wrong.

The demon was lighting fast and even with her slayer abilities she could hardly keep up with its rapid assaults. It was slowly tiring her out, until Spike had come along freshly sated from feeding and quickly jumped into the fray. It was he who finally finished the demon of as Buffy had nearly collapsed from the blood loss and the beating.

The battle had raged on for longer than they both had realized and the dawn was close at hand by the time they made their way back to their hotel.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked quietly, she watched as he clumsily tried to clean some harder to reach cuts. He hissed in pain as he poured a little too much cleaning agent.

"Here," she said taking the white bottle from him. "Let me do that."

He was hesitant for a few minutes, but relented and wisely let her tend to him. Her touch was surprisingly gentle, but Spike did not let his guard down the entire time her hands were in contact with his skin.

She felt the tension in back and was about to ask about it when her words were completely stolen from her. She looked up to see his crystal blue gaze on her so intently that she could almost feel them burning into her skin.

_The power of blue eyes are highly underrated_.

Not a second later, she mentally recanted that thought because 'Blue' was just not the word to describe Spike eyes. They _burned_ her, and they swirled with so many colours and shades that she could almost hear the winds of tropical storms and the waterfalls as she kept his gaze.

She was locked. She could not look away, not even if she wanted to, and she didn't want to.

Then suddenly without warning, he descended on her, kissing her gently at first but his kiss soon evolved into something more demanding. It was moments before she realized why. It was because she was kissing him back and she didn't even realize it. She had settled on his lap and his hands had tangled in her hair.

He pulled her closer and kissed her deeper.

Buffy's mind went blank, completely blank.

She had never known a kiss could be like this. It was as if she was totally giving herself over to him. Ultimate surrender. She just let go.

He finally broke away when he felt her need to breathe. She took in the oxygen in great big heaping gulps and along with it, a bit of her sanity.

"Oh God," she murmured breathlessly. "We shouldn't be doing this."

Spike smirked.

"And yet we are."

Buffy pushed him away.

"We can't."

He pouted.

In the second Buffy wanted nothing more than to take that lower lip in her mouth and kiss him long and hard, but she restrained herself. She somehow managed to sit motionless and willed that she would be less affected by him if she just stared at one point between his eyes.

"Why not?" he asked huskily.

"Because it's wrong."

Buffy knew as soon as those three words left her mouth that they were not what she should have said.

Anything else would have been better.

Spike closed off instantly.

"Oh, I see." He said lowly, the tension had returned to his limbs.

He slid out from under her walked to the other side of the room to retrieve the shirt he had discarded.

"Spike, Look-"

"You see the way I look at it," he interrupted, turning back to glare at her with his now diamond hard gaze. "Is that I'm good enough to save your life but not to really be in it."

"Spike, I'm still the slayer." She said imploring him to understand, hoping that she could some how understand herself, just so she could present her case. "And you are still a vampire.

"What's the bloody point?"

It was the first time either had made mention of their respective titles, species and chosen duties in weeks.

"You don't have a soul!"

She had been expecting, a curse, perhaps some broken furniture, definitely some of Spike getting his growl-ies on.

He did nothing of that sort.

He burst out laughing.

"That's it?" he said. "That is you major reason? That is the credo by which you live?"

Buffy had no idea what to say.

"Sometimes I wonder how you made it this far, slayer." He said. "Living off the watcher-swill that Dinglebert of yours feeds you."

"Spike-"

He ignored her, grabbing a box of cigarettes from his duster. Buffy watched him fiddle with it for a moment before putting one between his lips and taking a drag.

"Vampire's may not have 'souls' the way the great poofster did, but that doesn't mean we need to be slaughtered like so much cattle."

"You kill humans." Buffy said defiantly.

"And you kill vampires, slayer." He said. Buffy winced at the nickname and the venom Spike had treated it with. "Vamps kill vamps, humans kill humans, vamps kill humans, humans kill vamps, big circle of life-thing. It's a balance, Slayer."

He took a step towards her, she stepped back. His eyes were blazing now, and she found that once again she could no more look away than she could vamp out.

"You and your self righteous pedestal." He spat, Buffy recoiled. "Was Hitler a vampire? No. That didn't stop him from killing eight million people. There are rapists that are human, Slayer, murderers. Likewise there are vampires that just sit around at night, get blood from blood banks and watch telly. You've met a small population of vamps at their worst-their first few days and fledglings-and you think you know us all. Humans can be just as bloodthirsty-they don't even need it to survive, Hell, they even have the souls that are so bloody important to you. Not everything is as easy as black and white, princess."

Buffy found herself pressed up against the sliding door that separated the room from the balcony. She was afraid. Afraid of what Spike was saying, at his intensity and anger, but also the raw truth in all of it. How he was making her think, reject the rigid structure that had been drilled into her.

She needed to get away from him.

She opened it and stepped out into the sunlight, where she knew Spike could not follow her.

"You kill people." She said defiantly. Attempting to slam the door in his face and escape from the onslaught with dignity.

Spike caught the door easily.

"No, pet, I _killed_ people." He corrected in a low, tight voice. "I stopped, because you asked me to."

"I-" she hesitated, he looked less angry now. Less like a master vampire, more like a jilted lover, and it was ruining her righteous anger. "I don't believe you."

He tilted his head.

"Don't you?" he asked. "You let me go alone, this month, love, you went on you own merry way and didn't monitor me, I sleep next to you every night. You _know_ I won't do anything to harm you."

Buffy was standing in the sunlight now, shaking with the reality of his words.

"I don't trust you." She repeated.

She realized she had no say in this. Instinct had taken over. It always did when Spike was involved, her brain didn't do what it told her. She was a woman possessed. It scared her and I pissed her off. "And I hate you! You are a sick, twisted, thing and you are _beneath me._"

With a savage roar, Spike was on her, grabbing her and pinning her against the outer wall of the building.

Buffy looked up him, surprised. She glanced up at the sun and back at him.

Spike shook off his demon and smirked.

"Makes things a little more interesting, huh?"

"How-"

He kissed her then. Buffy fought for all of two seconds before giving in.

Being the slayer was exhausting. Living up to the watcher's standards was exhausting, all that animosity and hate and tension was exhausting.

This, right here, with Spike pressing himself against her, this felt right. It felt good. It Replenished her. Rejuvenated her, Spike asked nothing from her except to open her eyes, to think. She wasn't the chosen one to him. In fact, she kinda hoped she was just _the one_. Without the Chosen part.

In that moment, it was all that mattered to Buffy. He was all that mattered.

She broke away.

"I don't trust you." She knew she was fooling herself now.

Spike claimed her lips again, pushing his leg between hers.

"Of course not."

Buffy moaned into his mouth.

"I don't want you."

Spike kissed down her neck nibbling on her pulse point. Having a vampire at fatal proximity should have set of alarm bells but none came. The slayer-sense was not tingling. It did nothing more than turn her on.

"Prove it."

After that, he took her back into their room, and they didn't leave for quite a while.


	10. Switzerland

**Author's note: **Everyone, i made a bit of a mistake on the last chapter, the real chapter nine is now posted so please read that before you move on to this, okay? This chapter doesn't have much to do with the city their in so i won't mention it. also the results for the last 'Choose Their Own Adventure' are posted in the last chapter. thanks all, and many apologies for the mix up.

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Chapter X – Switzerland: The Hills Were Alive and Are Now Undead

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Spike woke early and did his best not to wake the slayer as he crept out of their bed. He had long since stopped asking himself why he takes such care not to wake her up.

The stubborn part of him insisted that he liked the quiet time by himself, with a rather large emphasis on the word QUIET. He told himself that he was sick of her voice, but even in his head the excuse seemed as hollow and obvious as he was being.

The other part, well, he tried not to listen to that part. He was comfortable in the routine they had found; he wasn't ready to change it now.

Besides, the eye bags were fading under her eyes, and the luster in her hair was returning, he didn't wasn't to be the one to slow his slayer's healing process.

Bloody hell.

He did not just say that she was HIS slayer. No he didn't. It's forgotten.

Yes.

Anyway.

He was content with the ways things were, for once he was rather close to-never mind.

Thoughts must stop.

Concluding that it was no longer safe in his mind, Spike realized that he needed to do something. So he slipped on a pair of cloth drawstring pants and set out to entertain himself and distract his brain from his slayer.

The bint was not to be ignored even in his own head. He remembered that she was the one who had gotten him these pants when she had found out that he had been sleeping in his jeans-something he had started on this trip, before this he slept naked.

He hadn't mentioned it to her but she just seemed to know somehow and got them for him, did something to rectify the situation. The bitch was actually trying to be thoughtful and in the process she was confusing the hell out of him and making him want to do the same. Add that onto the protective feelings he was having about her and he was one unhappy and unsettled vamp. Only he wasn't unhappy.

And therein lay the problem.

And they say HE'S evil.

Of course, nowadays, he was pretty sure he would barely use the pants, would don them only when he answered the door for room service if they were staying at a swanky place. Last night both he and Buffy slept raw.

She had surprised him about that.

That day on the balcony, she had set him off with the 'beneath her comment' but he had managed to rectify the situation only to have it spin away from him again. When he had pinned her, tremulous and vulnerable, her golden glow emphasized by the sunlight, he just couldn't stop himself, and she hadn't stopped him.

And that was that.

Barely any other thought had permeated his mind since. It was too filled with the fact that he had just bagged another slayer.

Sort of.

When he had first left Sunnydale with her, he thought they were just leaving together for mutual comfort, both of them leaving memories and old lives behind. After a while, however, Spike began catching himself doing little things for her, like opening the window when he smoked so that she wouldn't smell it.

Speaking of which,

He reached into his duster and pulled out a fag and his lighter, the act of opening the window was so automatic that he didn't even realize that he did it. So he closed it, slayer be damned!

He lit the cigarette and took a long healing drag.

And opened the window again.

Bitch.

He glanced at the ring on his finger.

The Gem of Amarra.

Doyle had come through for him.

The Gem of Amarra was the Holy grail of vampires, and Spike had been after it for half a century.

He was still surprised that she hadn't objected much; in fact she didn't quite understand the repercussions of having it. Although, she was rather distracted the last time it had been in use.

There was a sudden noise from Buffy and she stretched like a contented cat. She paused for only the barest of moments before sliding out of bed and sidling up to him.

He couldn't help the look of awe to see her golden body; she had shed some of the inhibitions she had about being naked around him. She found one of his black button down shirts and slipped it on before settling on his lap, threading her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead against his.

The intimacy was new but not wholly unexpected.

"I like those pants better when they're strewn across the floor." She said innocently.

Spike smiled.

For a second, he thought they were moving too fast, they had once been enemies turned allies turned something else and they were both still healing from killing their loved ones. They were in a foreign country and they didn't even like each other that much- all of this occurred to him and then he realized that he had a naked Buffy on his lap, smiling her innocent smile and all of his thought boiled down to one.

Shag now, think later.

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**Author's note: **I already know what's going to happen in the next few chapters, but anyway, This Choosing thing is funas much for me as i'm sure it is for you.

so pick a European city!

a) Oslo, Norway b)Stokholm, Swedenc) Prague, Czech rep OR d) Amsterdam, Holland

(i want Buffy to as out of her element as totally possible. so pick the one furthest from Sunny California. :D)


	11. Berlin

**Author's note:** i KNOW that its been a while but i've been swamped planning a PROM! god, how 'American Teenager' do I sound?

Okay! and the result is... BERLIN! hahahahaha, no don't worry people, Amsterdam-the city that won-is coming up soon. i decided on Amsterdam because, a) Prague has too much past for SPike. b) more people voted for this AND c)its the furthest i could get from Californian Culture... I would have gone with scandinavia... but its just WAAAY too cold there.

okay. I admit it, i'm right now, hyper-chocolate! i LOVE it!

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**Chapter XI – Berlin: The Big I Love You Thing**

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Many native Berlin residents take long vacations in July to avoid the annual Love Festival, however tourists flock the city just to wear kitschy clothing and dance the night away to various techno beats, and these two particular tourists were no different.

Buffy opened the door to their hotel room and managed to dance her way in. She twirled her feather boa over her head and let out a long 'whoooo' of joy tossing her tinsel wig and shaking her butt to the beat that had been playing for the last twenty four hours.

Spike walked though the door shirtless with a few kitschy necklaces looking like he had just been dunked into a vat of holy water and then had his skull drilled into.

"I have no clue how you talked me into this, pet." He said.

Buffy smiled at him.

Oh right, suddenly he remembered exactly how she talked him into this.

Bloody women and their smiles.

"Oh come on!" she chastised. "You were raving with the best of them, Spike, you just don't want to admit it."

"Yes because standing in the middle of a great stinking mess of people all dancing like the pavement has been bad and needs to be punished s exactly how I like to spend my days." He replied.

"I seem to recall you dancing."

"No, pet, I was being carried by the current."

She shook her head and shed the bright pink hot pants and the purple go go boots.

"Come on, Spike, you must have had some fun."

Spike smirked and glanced down at the boots.

"Well seeing you in spandex was fun."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"You are such a pig."

Spike grinned, the insult had already been sensationalized and Buffy hadn't even been scathing. In all truth, he had had fun. For the last few weeks he had nothing but fun, their routine was comfortable, and he had absolutely no intentions of changing that. Buffy was even getting better. She slept through the nights now, she had been restored some of that fire she always had. She was living again.

He knew he was getting better. Dru had never really been his anyway, and he had long since come to terms with that. He knew it before, and he knew it now. All he needed was a little time to let go.

They were healing, They were shagging and everything was good. If they could keep this whole thing up and keep her mind off what happened before then maybe-

"What days is it?" she asked off handedly.

"The sixteenth." Spike said, barely even thinking of what he said.

Buffy froze.

"What?" he asked. The room's temperature seemed to drop a few degrees and Spike frantically searched his brain for whatever relevance the 16th of July held. "What is it pet?"

"Today is my mother's birthday."

And just like that he felt everything that they had been working towards, everything they had built come crumbling down around him.

Her face was numb. Emotionless. Again. He hadn't seen that face in over a month and yet with one off hand question it had all come back.

He knew that they had to deal with is sooner or later, and not just gloss over it like they had, but he still wasn't ready for that to happen yet.

She looked devastated and tired yet again. The memories of Sunnydale and her chosen status and Angel all came back to her. The carefree girl that spike had danced with-yes, danced with-earlier was gone.

He could almost see the walls come up around her.

He felt little bit devastated himself.

Silence.

Finally, Spike couldn't take it.

"Pet-"

Buffy looked at him sharply.

He reached out to touch her but she pulled away. He drew back looking so wounded that she relented a little bit.

"Spike," she said tiredly. "Listen, about us or what ever we have it doesn't mean that-"

Spike looked at her incredulously.

"What are you saying, luv?" he asked coldly.

Buffy looked down.

"It doesn't mean that-" she composed herself. "That you can just blow on it and make it all better."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"That's bollocks, pet." he said. "I'm not trying to make it better I'm-"

Her glare wasn't cold but it sure as hell tried to be.

"You can't fix me, Spike." She snapped. "I don't want to be fixed. I can't believe that I did this with you! I don't deserve to be content; I killed the love of my life!"

She knew as soon as she said the words that she had said the wrong thing because it set him of yet again.

"You aren't rattled because of what you did, you're rattled because you did it! Not because you sent Angel to hell but because you could."

"What?"

She met his eyes and nearly burst into tears at their intensity.

"You could do it, slayer, and you would do it again." He said. "You saw your own power and it scared you didn't it?"

"Spike, please, can we not do this right now?" she asked quietly.

"Do what?" demanded the vampire. "Do what, slayer?"

"Fight," she said. She looked so anguished that he very nearly relented. "It's just," she paused. "Can you just leave me alone?

Spike stared at her.

Did she honestly mean that? How on earth could she ask him that?

"No."

Buffy looked up at him incredulously, it was obviously she expected him to back off, as he had before but Spike was pissed now.

"No." he repeated heatedly. "I will not leave you alone because you need me right now, Slayer whether you admit to or not, as much as you detach yourself from everything in the world I will not let you detach yourself from me, I will not let you hurt yourself like that." she stared at him in surprise. This just added fuel to the flame. "I can't believe that now that you're reminded of Sunnyhell suddenly you've found that you've got that stake up your ass again."

"Well good, because I can see that I'm going to be needing one!" Buffy cried, she reached down to one of the chairs and broke off a leg. She then pressed it to his bare heaving chest. "You clingy, annoying as hell, stuck in the 80's pig!"

Spike arched an eyebrow, she seemed to have forgotten the gem of Amarra but he was not going to remind her. Not at this point.

"You are a closed book and a cock tease, summers," he snapped.

"If you think of me that lowly," Buffy cried. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I love you!" Spike cried not realizing what he was saying. "And I will take care of you, if you just let me!"

He didn't realize what he had said until the words had sunken in, Buffy stared at him her eyes wide. As surprised as he was that those words managed to slip out, he was not nearly as surprised as when she dropped her stake and professed her love right back to him.


	12. The Magic Box

**Author's note: **Hey everyone, My formal went well so i'm all tickled pink. i decided to go ahead and post the next chapter. hee hee hee. I've also watched 'Pride and Prejudice', and i love it so much. course, i love the book too. I'm such a dork for love/hate relationships. I have another choose their own adventure at the end of this!

this is the former chapter 9 that has now become chapter 12 thanks to suggestions and 'choose their own adventure' which pretty much throws some of my story lines off

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**Chapter XII - Sunnydale: The Scoobies Have Dealt, Mourned and Moved On**

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The Magic Box was one of the few shops on Main Street. Over the last ten or so years, this fine institution had changed little, a dependable staple that Sunnydale Residents could rely on should they wish to 'get their occult thang on!' over the years it has gone through little change, going from minor-ly campy to somewhat authentic, passing from owner to owner until several yeas ago, it was purchased by retired Sunnydale High librarian Rupert Giles. The magic box was ideal to him and the Scoobies, it provided extra income for Mister Giles (who already enjoyed a regular stipend care of the Watcher's council) and the others (who were basically quite successful on their own), it replaced the library as Scooby research central and it was the ideal place for the slayer to train.

Yes. The slayer. Faith Mc Addams, Mister Giles's new slayer who was right now taking Physical Studies at UC Sunnydale.

For their part, the Scoobies, Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Oz helped with research, patrol and in Willow's case spells. So life progressed much like it had in high school and though the Scoobies had grown up and moved on, their lives were no less supernatural.

"Good morning, Giles!" Willow as she entered the store. On days that she didn't have classes, like this one, she helped out around the magic box consulting with the customers and suchlike. "Sorry, I'm late."

Giles smiled looked up fro yet another ancient text and smiled at her.

"It's not a problem." he said. "Had some trouble with the little ones?"

Willow nodded biting her lip a little.

"They're in Kinder-care right now." she said as she put down the large canvas bag that she had slung over her shoulder. She pulled out an elastic and tied back her long wavy red hair. "They got sent home the other day, and their caretaker, Miss Hannigan wanted to see Oz and I about them."

At this Giles frowned.

"Oh?"

Willow knew this was her cue to go on. She and Oz had been married since her graduation of senior year only a little after Willow found out that she was pregnant. So in preparation of having a family, Oz accepted a position at the computer company that had been wooing the both of them since career week of Willow's junior year. (**Author's Note: **circa 'What's my line?') He was bringing in enough money to support them so Willow accepted the offer to go to UC Sunnydale on full scholarship, and worked at the magic box on her free days-more to help Giles than anything else. It was soon after that the newly weds found out that they were not having a baby, they were having a litter.

"Maya wolfed-out in playtime and when Miss Hannigan saw her she freaked and the totally got mad at Dax, Loki, Seth and Janey," Willow stopped and sighed. Her litter, big brother Dax, the most physically powerful of them all, next in line was protective Jane, then sly Loki and then contemplative Seth and lastly, the runt of the litter but the most magically powerful Spunky little Maya. "Big badness." she paused again. "And then she told them never to bring their pets to school and you know how they get about the P word."

Giles removed his glasses cleaned them and replaced them, waiting or Willow to continue.

"so of course Janey blows up yelling at the teacher that wolves are people too and that she should learn to respect animals, and Seth started tossing clay at the ground angrily, this distracted her long enough for Dax and Loki to get away." Willow took another deep breath and went on. "And as soon as they were out of sight they somehow managed to short all the power in the building."

Giles bit back a smile, if the watcher didn't know any better he would have thought that the kids had planned it that way. It was pretty much a norm already. Maya gets into trouble, Janey and Seth distract the grown up while Dax and Loki do something to rectify the situation.

"-so me and Oz were really worried about them and-and-and- Giles you're laughing!" willow ended with a whine. She looked slightly put out. "This is serious!"

"What's serious?"

The bell rang as Cordelia Chase entered the shop.

"The little ones got into trouble at school again." Giles explained.

"And Giles seemed to think it was big on the funniness." Willow pouted.

Cordelia shrugged. She had become a lot easier to deal with when her parents went broke and she got major wake-up call. Things like loosing all your money and a lot of your friends in just a few days so can be big on the humility thing. She and Xander were now living in sin together in a brand new apartment and had just got engaged. Ol' Cordy worked the finances and stuff of the Magic Box to fund her accountancy course in UC Sunnydale

"Kind of is." She said as she made her way behind the counter to re-count the previous day's earnings and log them into her account book. "But then again the cubs are so angelic you are _bound_ to get some form problem from them at some point."

Willow frowned.

"They're just headstrong."

Cordy considered this and nodded.

"Of course they are." She said. "Something that Dax demonstrated when he head butted good ol' Miss Wellington."

Willow cringed at the mention of the cubs' last teacher, who had resigned not two weeks after the cubs were put into her care.

"I heard she's doing well."

"He broke her nose, Willow." Cordy dead panned.

The red head blanched and turned away from Cordy's amused smile

"Only a little." She protested.

Cordy just sighed she sent Giles a happy perky smile that said quite obviously that she wasn't going to be a part of the discussion any longer.

"That's great that you can delude yourself that way, Willow." She said channeling Queen C for a moment. "Really it is." She paused, her smile disappearing. "Now I have to get to money matters."

Willow huffed.

"Fine."

The bell dinged again and in came Dawn.

Buffy's sister grinned and held up a big bag.

"I brought doughnuts." She said brightly.

"Excellent." Willow said. "But the big research party is later. Don't you have school today?"

Dawn shrugged.

"Senior skip day." She said. "I figured I could spare a bit of my time to come hang with you guys and make with the sugary goodness before meeting up with Janice and the others."

Dawn was a Senior at Sunnydale High and had already gotten accepted early decision to UC Sunnydale, she was pretty much coasting her final semester.

"-but don't worry." She continued. "I figure I should be back before sunset though so we can all help Angel with the newest big evil that is doing the 'afoot' thing."

Willow grinned.

"Well, that good because we sure could use your sleeping skills." She teased gently. "And you could use the naptime."

Dawn elbowed her, settled into her usual place around the research table and reached for doughnut.

"Hello all!" Xander greeted as he entered. "And why is the Dawnster here? Doesn't she have the Academics to be engaging in?"

"Senior skip day." Cordy explained looking up from her books and Smiling at her fiancé. "Remember? We had to fight that lizard guy with Angel?"

Xander's brow furrowed with thought.

"Was that before or after we fought those telepathic potatoes of doom?"

"After." Willow said with all seriousness.

Giles shook his head at the assembled scoobies, after work, Oz would arrive with the litter, and they would be settled and sleeping by the time (It seemed to magic the way Oz and Willow handled them, no one else could put those spit fires down. In fact, there was a large possibility it _was_ magic.) Angel arrived at sundown and they would research the newest baddie and all go out to fight it.

He knew that no one would mention the significance of this day. He knew they were all aware of it, but no one would hint at their remembrance of it.

No one but him. He walked into the back office and crossed out another day on his calendar.

Buffy disappeared today.

It had been seven years.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Choose THEIR own adventure:

Why should Buffy and Spike return to Sunnydale?

A) Glory B) Adam and the Initiative C) something of my own devising D) other, please specify

hahahha, i've just answered like... 8 practice tests and 12 surveys henve the option D

send in your votes.


	13. Amsterdam, part I

**Author's note: **A nice, short teasing chapter. hahahah!

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**Chapter XII – Amsterdam: All is Fair In Love and Children's Games**

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He was the slayer of slayers, the mighty and the bloody and this was his calling. He reveled in this.

He reveled in the hunt.

As he stalked down the hallways he couldn't help but remember his days as the scourge of Europe, though things have definitely changed since then. First of all his boots no longer hit filthy cobblestone or pavement, instead, the plush carpet muted the miniscule sounds he would have made had it not been there.

He scoped his surroundings; his blue eyes were alert and sharp with awareness, taking in even the slightest bit of movement.

He was careful to reach out with his other senses as well. He was dealing with very competent opponents and he would have to keep every wit about him. Utilize every weapon in his arsenal.

He moved from room to room, corridor to corridor, using every advantage vampiric sense afforded him to scope out his prey to no avail.

Finally, he slinked around a blind corner of the elegant corridor he caught a momentary flash of burnished gold.

His lips curled back into a predatory smile.

The slayer.

She didn't bother hazarding a glance behind her as she hastily padded down the hallway. She knew for sure that he had spotted her.

She berated herself silently, her inner turmoil not affecting the speed of her flight in the slightest. She was supposed to be the bloody slayer, high time she be acting like one!

No matter, she was close to the one place that she knew he would not follow. She only had to make it to the end of the hall before she would be safe.

She could see it up ahead.

It was the first place that he would look for her, but not even he dared to enter there. Her Sanctuary.

She imagined him behind her, running after her, about to reach out and grab her. This prompted a final burst of speed, she quickly wrenched open the door and all but slammed it behind her. She paused for a moment before sagging slightly, leaning up against the solid slab of wood. She willed her heartbeat to return to normal, knowing that it was easier for him to track her if her heart was pounding.

No such luck.

The room was pitch black but for a tiny sliver of light that tried with all its might to peak into the room. However, the darkness didn't bother her she, had spectacular night vision.

After a few minutes she finally managed to get her breathing under control and her heartbeat somewhere approaching normal.

She wasn't going to loose this time.

And just like that she could feel him behind her, his hand pressed to the other side of the wood, she could feel it burning the portal away and pressing onto her skin but before she could do anything about it he was gone.

That was worrying.

She hesitantly opened the door, to see an empty wood paneled corridor. No sign of him.

Suddenly, a squeal from another room in the house signaled that Buffy was alone. Her only companion, her ally was gone.

Now it was just him against her.

Quite the competition.

She slipped silently out of the dark room and up the carpeted staircase into the second floor of the house, silently opening the door to the library. It was an impressive room which encompassed three stories. As soon as she walked into the room her eyes were drawn to a small girl of about six, next to her sat a man dressed in black with identical blue eyes with a single scarred eyebrow arched.

Buffy stopped dead.

Spike smirked.

"Forty, forty, I see the slayer."

* * *

**Author's note: **Forty forty is an american children's game similar to Hide and seek only as soon as the 'it' sees the player and declares "forty forty i see (insert player's name)" the player is the next it. She player as to touche the base to be safe.

the result from choose their own adventure are in... and i have decided on Glory... hahahahahah as for the rest... well you'll see.


	14. Amsterdam, part II

**Author's note:** hello everyone. its been a while, yeah? well then i promised that i would keep the baby out of this fic... i did want to write one and therefore i have decided this is no longer a baby fic, but a kid fic. hahahaha! right no 'the Choose their own adventure' this time.

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**Chapter XIV – Amsterdam: How They Got There (Prophesies Not Included)**

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Buffy turned the washing machine on and sat back for a while, leaning against the wall of their basement and just thinking to herself on how she had gotten to where she was.

After that night in Berlin, everything changed. Everything got better. For the very first time since she was chosen Buffy didn't feel the weight of the world on her shoulders. She wasn't going to be dumb and say that she was just being Buffy, because she realized that she was being Buffy, the slayer was just as much a part of her as anything else. So for once she didn't think about it. She didn't make stupid divisions; she just let it all go and had fun.

That night she had been in a major slump. She had though back on Sunnydale, got sucked down into the memories of what she'd done and how she had forgotten it. She was all ready to just stew in her depressed juices when Spike had gotten to her. She had looked at him and saw how anguished he was at her own sadness. Her guilt faded, it paled in comparison to what she felt when she saw how hurt he was. It was in that moment she realized just how much he meant to her, and when his impromptu 'I love you' tumbled from his lips, she was so stunned she barely remembered to say it back.

She realized that she would never be content with the white picket fence life, she knew that she would use every last one of those white pickets as a stake. And she was perfectly okay with that.

Hell, a normal life was pretty much boring; she had one of those for a while. Sometimes she forgot how utterly tedious those were.

She would never have gotten to that point if not for Spike.

They adjusted the deal. Spike patrolled with her and no longer fed of humans, drinking pig's blood instead and then feeding of her.

It made for great sex.

Of course, they couldn't just go gallivanting around Europe and not have anyone notice, soon enough Buffy was meeting demon hunters, and demons alike, some she did actually like some she thought were downright evil, and this went for both the demons and the people that hunted them.

Again, Spike was right, not everything was black and white.

They finally settled down in Amsterdam, they purchased a wonderful town house on one of the canals-Buffy was scared at first to ask where Spike had gotten the money. When she had gotten around to he had muttered something along the lines of 'you think I walked the earth for a hundred and fifty years and never made an investment portfolio? Made a mint on the bloody dot coms.'

It was there that they began building a new life, together and forgetting what had happened in the past.

At first Buffy was scared of the language barrier but Spike had seen to that. He didn't speak to her in anything but Dutch for three months and slowly she words soaked her brain and she learned how to form them. The same went for French and German-until she was fluent. They barely even spoke English anymore.

As soon as she was confident with her Dutch, she got a job in a fancy restaurant as a hostess and that was where she found her calling (other than the chosen one, of course.), one day a wedding party had come in and had an emergency-their photographer had gotten caught at some train station, so Buffy stepped in and found out that she had a natural knack for it. She set up a studio in their town house-some of her photos were even put in brochures for Amsterdam.

As for Spike, he bought a laptop and indulged in his hidden pleasure from his past life. He began to write, not only poetry but fiction, dark fantasies, historical stories, horror even some scathing satiric comedies. At first he kept this from Buffy but she found out eventually coming home to him typing away at a lap top. And instead of laughing at him like he feared, she had smiled and simply asked to be able to read it when he was done.

That simple action was all Spike needed and his ideas all translated themselves on paper faster than he had thought possible. He published two already under pen names so as not to rouse attention-and although they did not need the money, the royalties were enough to keep them very comfortable.

The critics thought his books so insightful and detailed they raved about them and they won numerous awards, all of which Spike responded to with a surprisingly humble 'they better be detailed, I bloody lived through all of it.'

He had shed his big bad persona almost completely. The Spike that Buffy slept with every night was the real Spike, the one who didn't have to prove anything to anyone, the one who did not live in Angel's shadow.

They had lived in Amsterdam a year when Buffy found out that she was Pregnant. There was no question that the father was Spike. They had not been a part for more that three hours in two years.

They didn't question it, they didn't research about it. They just accepted it as the miracle it was. Of course, Buffy didn't think it was so much of a miracle when she was huffing and puffing for five hours to bring their child into the world.

But she was worth it. She had tawny strawberry blonde whisps of hair and electric blue eyes that erased any doubt as to who her father was. Her father, who had finally revealed his last name after all the years of secrecy. The tiny child was named:

Katheryn Madeline Raleigh.

Spike's Sweet bit.

Buffy had never been more thankful to Doyle-now a friend of the little family and godfather to Kat-for the Gem of Amarra. It afforded Spike a chance to be in every aspect of his daughter's life. Walking in the park, all sorts of games etc.

Yes, Buffy had a normal enough life, she and Spike did get their rough and tumbles, though because they patrolled cemeteries leaving Kat in the care of friends. They had found their compromise.

And they were happy.


	15. Amsterdam, part III

**Author's note:** Hello everyone. I'm currently free from torture so I'm updating in honor of that. hahahaha an now that i'm done with my insane rambles on with the story!

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**Chapter XV – Amsterdam: The Bound, The Determined and The Found**

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Amsterdam natives usually avoided the outdoor markets at this time of year, and if they had to go, they never went to the Albert Cuysp market, preferring the less tourist choked alternative of the market on Waterloo Square, only a small ways away.

The three girls chattering in front of a clothing vendor were no exception. However, though they chattered in fluent Dutch and expertly haggled their way to the lowest of prices, none of the three was born and raised in Holland, much less Amsterdam.

"I cannot believe you said that, Sonja!"

First of all there was Sonja, who did not seem at all phased by the accusation. She was the tallest, standing at a little below six feet. She was obviously of Nordic descent, with the pale blue eyes and the pale blonde hair common to the people of Scandinavia.

"Please, Annie, "she said. "It's not as if you aren't thinking it!"

Annie was shorter than Sonja; she had cropped ruddy brown hair and olive green eyes. Her face was kind and awash with a storm of freckles. Her Dutch was lilted with the welsh accent as Annie had moved to Amsterdam from Wales not three years ago.

"You guys, it's me." The last of the trio spoke up. She was petite and tanned with long dirty blonde hair that was pulled back away from her face, showing off delicate features and doe-like hazel-green eyes. "You never have to worry about the whole propriety bit. What is up with you brits and making with the protocol?"

Her name was Buffy.

"Why, does that husband of yours worry about propriety, Buffy?" Sonja asked mischievously. "If you don't want him, I'll take him. A gorgeous hunk who finally gets that diamonds are a girl's best friend!"

She steered the thread of conversation back to the topic that had started it all, Buffy's South Sea Pearl necklace. It had cost a fortune and Spike had had it flown in from the Philippines for their fifth anniversary.

"Technically in this case, pearls are a girl's best friend." Buffy put in wryly.

"Details, details." Sonja said dismissively.

"They really are gorgeous." Annie commented.

Sonja and Buffy had been best friends since Buffy moved here five years ago, Sonja owned a gallery and Buffy was a photographer. They had met for business and hit it off and been best friends ever since. It also helped that Buffy and Spike had saved Sonja and her husband Max from certain death by vampires.

"Please, this makes me want to jump Spike ever more."

Buffy burst out laughing at the sudden bulging of Annie's eyes. No matter how often Sonja expressed her desire to jump Spike's bones, Annie never got over it.

Buffy, however was not at all threatened, she knew how crazy Sonja and Max were for each other so the constant lewd comments Sonja made about Spike didn't phase her.

"And here I didn't think that was possible." she said.

Annie shook her head, smiling indulgently at her two friends.

"You two are the impossible ones." She said. "I don't care how many times I have to repeat this, Buffy, I can't believe you let her talk like that about Spike."

The petite blonde grabbed a green hat and plopped it on Annie's head.

"Anne," she said. "You _have_ seen my husband, right? I get worried when girls _don't_ want to jump his bones."

Annie shook her head again.

"I've never really met Spike." She said. "But from what I hear about him, he has an ass that I really, really, really should get up close and personal with."

The three girl giggled and went on their way purchasing some things and scoffing at others. Buffy was talking to a fruit merchant about some watermelon when a familiar prickling stung the back of her neck. They were not Spike tingles. She caught eyes with Sonja.

"Vampire." She hissed in English.

Sonja frowned, and grabbed Annie's arm-the welsh girl looked startled.

"You guys-"

"Shh!" hissed Sonja.

Buffy lead them, though the streets. She glanced up at the sky seeing that it was dusk. The wound through the cobblestoned streets away from the Redlight district and towards the more residential part of Amsterdam where Sonja and Buffy lived.

"Keep heading home." Buffy ordered in Dutch. She had shifted smoothly into what Sonja privately liked to call, 'super slayer'-mode. "Who ever the bastard is, he's tailing us."

"Who's tailing us?" Annie asked.

"I'll fill you in later," Sonja said.

"Take her home for now," Buffy said authoratatively. "I'll deal with the tail."

Sonja nodded, she shoved Annie behind her and pulled a cross out of her purse. She held it out in front of them before backing away.

Buffy turned around and found herself staring into a pair ofbrown eyes that she remembered all too well.

"Hi, Buffy." Angel greeted.


	16. Amsterdam, part IV

**Author's note: **hey everyone, relatively short chapter. Some fun awkwardness between Angel and Buffy only slightly tempered by her new friends. Spike confrontation is in the next chapter, and ANGEL bashing! I LOVE Angel bashing!

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Chapter XVI – Amsterdam: OH SHIT!

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Oddly enough, the first thought that went through Buffy's head was not _'Oh, Angel! Why didn't you tell me that you were back? I've missed you and our bloody Soap opera like romance and now I want to be with you forever even if we can't really DO anything.' _Neither was it: _'oh Angel you bastard how could you do this to me? How could you come back? Wasn't killing you enough of a clue for you to know that I don't love you?' _it was not even: _'Hey, Angel, what're you doing out of hell?'_

It was:

_Oh, shit_

As she dropped a watermelon that she had been carrying-she didn't even realize she had been holding it. Her next thought was:

_Ow!_

As it fell on her foot, and after that:

_Spike is so going to kill me._

"Angel." She managed to sputter. "What are you doing here?"

For a moment he didn't answer and Buffy went over her question just to make sure she had said it in English it had been quite a while since she had spoken in her native tongue. She concluded that indeed she was, but Angel was just standing there, staring at her with amazing intensity. He looked just like she remembered him, except his eyes which looked kinda funny.

Suddenly he crushed her in a desperate, bruising bear hug, one that she didn't return.

Oh, so that was _emotion_ she saw in his eyesooooooh! Well, that was sort of a first.

"God, Buffy I thought you were dead." He murmured into her hair, pulling her as close to himself as he could. Taking in everything that was Buffy, even if this might be the last he ever got to hold her. At least that what he deserved, not that that stopped him from hoping he would have her again. She always did come back to him, they were meant to be together, that much he knew.

"Can't say I wasn't thinking the same thing." She muttered as she tried very hard to push him off of her. Was he always this heavy and MASSIVE? Jeez! Did he want her to turn into one giant bruise with a side of Buffy? "Uh, Angel, uhm, Breathing, kinda becoming an issue here."

"Oh?" Angel said sounding surprised, and then finally caught her meaning and let her go. She instantly stepped away from him and wiped her palms on her thighs. "Right."

She nodded grimly at his realization.

"Buffy?" asked Sonja. Buffy glanced behind her to see Sonja and Annie still standing on the cobbled street. Sonja had lowered the cross and was looking at Angel quizzically. "What's going on? Who is this guy?"

Angel squinted at the two girls who Buffy had been talking to when he had interrupted. They were speaking in a language he didn't understand. Dutch, he presumed since they were in Holland. Buffy however nodded and responded in kind.

"Don't worry." She said to the pale blonde. "It's all fine."

"Buffy-"

"Fine."

"Buffy," Annie said sounding a little uncomfortable.

"_Fine._"

"You are telling us all about this later; especially if this is part of the reason you needed to run away from America." Sonja cut in. "do you understand Buffy Raleigh?"

Buffy would have replied but unfortunately, Angel caught most of her attention. He looked like a kicked puppy and a kid on Christmas morning at the same time. As if he was trying to decided whether to be tortured or be ecstatic, she waited for a twinge to come and confuse her.

But there was nothing.

There should have been something telling her to be sorry for him or to hate him or just for him to affect her in someway, after all, the last time she saw him, she had sort of figured she would never see him again. It was an unfortunate consequence of him being, well… dead.

Buffy just stared at him realizing that she felt nothing for him. Not a twinge, no sadness, no anger, no regret, no hate nor love.

He was like a ghost. A token of her past, reminding her of things she didn't want to remember. She wasn't that slayer anymore, she didn't belong in Sunnydale.

"What are you doing here?" they asked in unison, and he smiled. Her face remained stoic; she was not quite sure how she wanted to proceed with this turn on events. Angel was here which meant that something wiggy was going on over the hell mouth and she really did not want to go back to the Hellmouth.

"I've been looking for you." Angel said trying a different tactic.

This was not how he had envisioned this is his head. He had hoped that she would show some sort of emotion when she saw him. Actually, he had hoped she would be happy to see him, at least until his soul reared its head and declared that she needed to hate him for all he did to her. Either way, he would prefer it to this.

She stood there, just staring at him, no emotion, no feeling, no love and no hate. As if he was nothing.

To him she looked as if she was dead. As if she was dead inside, but she wasn't dead.

Before his soul could say anything thing else Buffy interrupted its sudden call for brooding. The last thing she needed was for Angel to turn into a big pile of goop on her watch.

"Oh." She said, she really wasn't sure what to say. Normal people would never be in this situation. When normal people's boyfriends died, they had a tendency to kinda stay dead.

She sorely wished Angel would just go away.

Angel frowned, he could practically feel her retreating. This was a lot colder a reception than he had hoped for. He studied the love of his life closely. She looked different, older, wiser. She even felt different, when he had hugged her, she was so distant, not at all the trusting little girl that he had fallen for, she had become a woman, and he loved her still loved her so much that his soul yearned for her even if it knew that it shouldn't. Her greeting maybe less overjoyed than he would have liked but at least she hadn't mentioned hell.

"So, how was hell?"

Well, that was direct.

"I'd really rather not talk about it." He said.

Buffy nodded, she glanced back to her friends, who had both calmed down somewhat when they realized that the vampire was not as much of a threat as they had first thought. She jerked her head, and Sonja nodded she mouthed 'call me later' and then tugged Annie away, leaving Angel and Buffy alone, staring at each other.

In a way, Angel was sad to see them go. They were a little like a buffer, that kept Angel and Buffy in the safe zone. And now, he was left alone in the presence of his love and was quite unable to meet her eyes until he really forced himself to. She met his with absolutely no problem. They were back in a position they had been in a hundred times before.

"And this will bring us back to the original question of what are you doing here?" Buffy said. She tried to keep the hostility out of her voice, but she just couldn't stop a tendril from worming its way in. she was happy in Amsterdam. She didn't want to go home. She didn't belong there anymore.

Angel spared her a puzzled smile.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?"

Buffy cocked an eyebrow, had he always been this tiresome? (**AN: **YES!)

"What is your purpose for being here in front of me?"

Angel stared at her incredulously for a few seconds.

"How could you ask me that?" Angel said. "I'm here to take you home."

Buffy almost smiled at him patronizingly.

"Angel," she said, she put her hand on his arm and pushed him so that he would see something over his shoulder. His eyes got very bright when she touched him. "Home, is that blue door over there," she pointed to a blue door to a nice townhouse across the canal. "And I can walk myself."

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**Author's note:** I wonder if you guys missed this! 

Choose THEIR own adventure:

Obviously, Angel isen't here alone, the Scoobies would never send just him right? So pick two:

a) Joyce

b) Giles

c) Willow

d) Dawn

e) Oz

f) Cordy

Send in your votes, I can't write the next chapter without you:D (well, I can, it'd just be less fun)


	17. Amsterdam, part V

**Author's note:** Hey everyone, I know this is horribly late, ButI was trying to make the chapters a little longer.I just got a call from a Kathy who's having her finals, And so this one is for her, because I know how terrible those things are. Let's all wish her good luck, yeah:) Go Kathy!

And Lilimarq, sorry about that, I guess I wanted to make sure it was clear that Buffy and her friends were still speaking in Danish, as My own Danish is very, VERY faulty, I can't write it in that language (and can you imagine how hard to read that will be?) Anyway, I just fixed it so you can check it out. :)

Now, that I've bored you enough, ON with the story.

PS: Okay, If you've read my Fic before you know that The little poppet's name is AUDREY.. well, I got tired of the name it just dosen't seem to fit well, and names mean a great deal to me (I can't very well name her Consolacion) so I switched the name to Katheryn, so its either Kittie or Kat or Kittie Kat or Sweet bit or various other names Spike calls her.

NOW, on with the story.

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**Chapter XVII – Amsterdam: Bloody Hell**

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Angel couldn't understand Buffy. It was like that unbelievable connection they had once chared had been severed completely, he could not at all make heads or tails of what she was saying. 

Well, that was mostly because she was speaking Dutch.

She had dragged him back to a fruit stand where she spoke in rapid Dutch to the vendor-a man who looked older then Angel. And then she walked off, expecting him to follow her. She didn't even look back until they were nearing the blue door she had pointed out before as being her home.

"This is the place." She said. Her tone was neutral but there was something about the way she said it that just disconcerted Angel. Buffy just seemed angry at him for some reason. He really had not sure what he had been expecting, but for some reason he was a little confused as to why she was being so hostile. "But then again you already knew that."

Angel looked at his love, he was confused at her snarky tone of voice, in the years in hell and subsequent years in Sunnydale he had forgotten her bite.

At times, it was worse than his.

"Well, you did point at it." He said cautiously.

Buffy snorted in disbelief.

"You mean to tell me," she said tilting her head to the side and cocking her eyebrow. "That you had no idea where I lived, but caught wind that the slayer was in Amsterdam and just skulked around until you saw me?"

Angel shook his head.

"No." he said. "Giles actually caught wind of you being here."

He had thought that she would have warmed up at the sound of her old watcher's name but she did nothing of the sort. In fact, she bristled even more.

"So you're working with _Giles _now" she asked, her tone was almost accusatory.

The vamp nodded.

"I'm trying to make amends, Buffy." He said. "For everything that I did to you."He lookeddown and scratched the back of his neck (A move Oz had taught him before he left-it would show her that he was embarassed and truly sorry. Actually it involved shaving a hard through his hair, but Angel had flatly refused to do that. His hair too long enough to fix.He wasn't going to go around ruining it.)"Look, I know that-"

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Save it, brood-boy." She interrupted holding her hands out in front of her. "This is so not the place to have this little chat."

The shock of Angel's sudden arrival had worn off and now she was _pissed_. She was pissed at him for ruining her first time (at sex), pissed at him for forcing her to grow up, pissed at him for forcing her out of Sunnydale, forcing her into a little shell of desolation and now, pissed at him for intruding on her new happiness. This bastard so just could not leave well enough alone.

"Then, we'll go in?"he asked looking at the house she had pointed out. He could fell his position changing, if she was going to allow him into her home, well, it was a big step. He felt his hopes and spirits riase and fall at the same time. (But he ignored his soul and focussed on the rising.)

Buffy shook her head.

"No." she said.

Angel hung his head. She didn't trust him. After, what he did to her, he supposed she would hardly trust anyone. He knew it was his fault, so he didn't protest as she lead him around the block and down the cobbled alley that accessed the backs of the houses. They walked up five flights of fire escape stairs and finally reach the roof.

It was comfortable up there, a few plants, a swing and a seating area. Buffy took a seat on one of the chairs and looked up at him; her gaze was not at all the soft and welcoming gaze that he had remembered.

"So talk." She said.

Angel sat across her. He suddenly found that he had nothing to say.

"About what?" he asked. "How'd I find you, why we looked here in the first place? or what's going on?"

"I choose D all of the above."

"Well, I found you-"Angel smiled and looked down. He knew what he was going to say would please her. "Of course, I'd find you, Buffy, I could feel you in this city. I can sense you. If I was all alone in darkness I would somehow find my way to you."

Buffy felt like cringing. That was... well, she had no words. She didn't think people actually said that outside corny French movies.

"Slayer alarm bells?" she asked uncomfortably.

Angel quirked his eyebrow. That sort of ruined the tone he was going for.

"Er-not really." He said somehow disappointed that Buffy didn't at least smile at him or something. He decided to cut his losses and took a deep breath, just letting the sensation of being with her again wash over him.

The wind picked up around them as the night air cooled the city down. Buffy shivered, mentally kicking herself for not bringing a sweater.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

"Buffy, why don't we just go inside."

Buffy didn't answer, she just peered at him for a while waiting for him to get the significance.

Angel felt his insides drop and then rise up into his throat. Not only was his damn soul killing him for seeing Buffy again-which he had to try his best to hide for her sake, but she wasn't making it any easier. When a second, what did he expect anyway?

He suddenly caught a wiff of something familiar. At first his sensors labeled it as Buffy, but then he realized something was off about it. She was-

He was suddenly interrupted by a noise downstairs. The door opened and then closed and then he heard voices coming up. Buffy stiffened, she glanced towards the door that Angel presumed lead to the rest of the town house.

And Angel caught another scent on the wind. It was the one that had melded with Buffy, and that was when it hit him. It explained a lot of things all at once. She was with someone else. Someone else had touched his beloved. Someone touched his Buffy and that made his blood boil.

Buffy glanced at him and then at the door that provided the roof access to the rest of the flat. A door that suddenly burst open to reveal Buffy's new love.

Before Angel saw his face, he placed the smell that wafted around, and his mind turned away from Buffy's love interest and to the threat.

"Spike."

Angel felt his blood ignite. He threw himself at Spike, for one second he let his anger and his betrayal and his jealously erupt in one single action. He had fought his way through hell for a hundred years just to find his Buffy. She was the first one he had really loved in the two hundred years that he had walked the planet and Spike had taken what his.

Spike on the other hand, turned and saw the Angel shaped blur suddenly launch itself at him. Spike only managed to side step him and then scoff as his grandsire managed to slam himself into the door he had just closed.

He then arched an eyebrow at his grandsire then turned to Buffy and smirked.

"Bloody hell."

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Angel felt the wooden barrier smash into his head and got disoriented nearly falling over. And then the door opened again and he got smashed back into the floor. Then he heard a small voice say:

"Mum, mij won te vissen!" it said. "welka zitten mij helelmaal geode hierboven?"

Then Buffy's voice replied.

"Worden weerom ternaal de zaal, Kittie Kat,"

At this point, Angel managed to get his fuzzy-feeling head aloft. He squinted in the low lighting twilight afforded him to make out Buffy and Spike both talking to someone behind him. He turned to see a little girl sitting in the doorway.

"Ah!" she said peering at Angel. Something about the little girl put Angel on the edge. "Vampier."

She then proceeded to sit at the edge of the house, the closest she could be to outside without any part of her touching the invisible barrier. Who was she?

Maybe someone Buffy was helping? An innocent in need?

Before Angel could go into the details, however, he felt Buffy's capable hands tug him around to face her. Her and Spike, who stood next to her, his arms crossed. He looked pensive, and thoughtful. He turned to Buffy and

"Slayer-"

"Hen er Angel Ekk Angelus, Spike."

Buffy was speaking to Spike in Dutch.

Angel had no idea Spike spoke anything other then English, he had never really paid much attention to the intellect (or lack thereof) of his grandchilde. He had always been more interested in training the simpering, insufferable William and turning him into a proper Aurelian vampire.

But either way, Spike was here. He had come in from Buffy's house with a little girl.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" he demanded lowly, a moment later he noticed the close proximity between the slayer and his bleached childe. (For all intents and purposes, he was basically Angel's childe.)

Spike arched an eyebrow looked from him to Buffy and then smirked.

"Well, Angelus, its funny you should ask." He said stalking around. "Because for all intents and purposes _you_ are the one who shouldn't be here."

"Its, Angel." Angel corrected tersely. Spike always managed to get on his last nerve. "Get away from here, Spike, and whatever pathetic excuse of evil you were planning-forget about it."

Spike chuckled at that one.

"What, is this, Angelus?" He asked, mockingly tilting his head. his smirk had returned."You think you're just going to tell me no and I'll go off and sit in a corner?"Hisstatement was tinted with incredulity."I won't be cowered, Wanker, least of all by you."

Angel growled low in his throat.

Spike had _never_ spoken to him like that. EVER. That added to his burgeoning anger, but he refused to lt his control slip.

Many people will often warn you not to box an animal in because that is when the animal becomes its fiercest, it will fight tooth and nail to get out of its predicament. The same can be said about vampires.

Angel felt almost as if Buffy and Spike were playing a game that he didn't know the rules to. They spoke in a strange language he didn't understand. Something strange was going on, what was Spike doing with an all access invite to Buffy's house? Who was the girl _and _why did the whole thing just seem off?

Some one's head was going to roll for this and it would be vampiric and bleached blond. He had always wondered if in case he was ever hurled off a roof, Spike would bounce.

And then the little girl with the golden brown hair said the statement that shook Angel's world.

"Daddy, hvem er han?"

Angel didn't understand the Dutch, but the one word was unmistakable.

'Daddy'

And she had been talking to Spike.

Angel ignored his grandshilde's reply knowing full well that he was not going to understand it anyway.

He focussed instead on the little girl. She had Spike's hair colour, Angel clearly remembered William being brown haired. She also had Spike's electric blue eyes. But there really was no denying who her parents were. Her nose, and delicate featured were completely unmistakeable.She was obviously Spike's child...

with Buffy.

Angel felt his insides twist unpleasantly.

In a second he deduced that this must be the reason Buffy was allowing Spike close proximity. The five year old girl was the reason the younger vamp was not dust in the wind.

But as he looked at the object of his affection and passion to question her about the girl, he noticed something about her that he had not noticed before. She was wearing on her neck, marks of possession. Twin puncture holes that proclaimed for all the demonic and vampiric world to see that she belonged to one vamp.

To Spike.

Jealousy and rage blinded him and he turned away from Buffy to see Spike with his back turned speaking to his daughter, his daughter with Buffy. With a roar of anguish and outrage at the younger vamp usurping his position with his one and only true love. He charged up to Spike's turned back and plunged the stake he carried in his sleeve right into Spike's un-beating heart.


	18. Amsterdam, part VI

**Author's note: **I hope no one cried a river for Spike! Becaues there is NO way that I am ever going to kill of Spikey. Love him WAAY too much.

Hey everyone, here is a nice long chapter, that basically tells you nothing. I just wanted to have a nice long Angel, Buffy, Spike reaction chapter. Sorry If this is a little drawling, I'll probably come up with my next chapter real soon. Happy Birthday, Schnabes! This one's for you!

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Chapter XVIII – Amsterdam: Reactions

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Buffy didn't even have time enough to scream.

Angel felt the gravity of what he had done only as he knew his projectile had hit home.

Kat let loose a shrill shriek that nearly distracted the other two from what happened next, Both Angel and Buffy turned to see the little girl had jumped to her feet.

Spike, however glanced over his shoulder at the piece of wood sticking out of his back and scowled at Angel.

"Oh, yeah, I'm the mighty Angel." He said sarcastically as he pulled the stake out. The wound closed immediately. "I can beat my grand childe, I'll just stake his arse when his back's turned and he can't see me coming. You never did follow the rules of proper combat, you broody old fool."

Both Buffy and Angel's attention whipped back to Spike. Angel felt his jaw drop. Moments later he had gained enough composure to actually speak.

"What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

He had regretted his decision the instant he had staked Spike and wanted to take back his action as soon as he felt the wood penetrate. This did not in the least, however, prepare him for his wish to come true.

There was his Grandchilde, standing in the darkening sky holding the stake that had just a few moments earlier been buried in his heart. He stood tall, the stake in hand and a smirk on his face.

No one answered Angel, but Buffy walked up to him and smacked him on the head as hard as she possibly could. All of them heard the sickening crunch as the power of the Chosen One cracked a few bones in Angel's mandible. The vampire cried out in pain and his hands flew up to clutch his jaw.

"That," she said angrily, "is for staking Spike."

She brought back her arm for another punch but Spike caught it.

"S'all right, love." Spike said, "I'm still standing."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Nevertheless." She said, "He staked you, scared me to death and Kittie-" she turned and gestured to the house where the little girl was standing, her face was white with shock.

"Papa!" she called out from the top of the stairs. Her blue eyes-so like her father's-were watery and she looked terrible shaken. But despite all of this, she had not let one hair on her head pass through the invisible barrier that separated the house from the rest of the world.

She had been taught well.

"It's a long story, Angelus." He said then turned away from his grandsire effectively dismissing him, He turned to Kittie in the door way and nodded. "C'mere, Bit." Little Kittie didn't need to be told twice, she took a running start and launched herself into her father's arms burying her face into his shoulder. He noted with displeasure that she was trembling and bugger if it didn't make him hate his grandsire more. "M'fine, Sweet, Don't worry 'bout your ol' Dad. Nothin' wrong, see?"

Kittie nodded, her face was still unsteady. She did not however untwine herself from her father's embrace.

"She speaks English then?" asked Angel.

At this point Buffy intervened. She could sense her Husband's rising anger at Angel's intrusion. It warmed her to know that Spike had not gotten angry at Angel because Angel staked him, but more because Angel staked him in front of Kit.

"Wow look, we've got lots and lots to discuss." She said. "Let's not make with the petty conflicts, obie kabie?"

Both Spike and Kit looked at Buffy incredulously.

"Please don't you ever use that word, pet "He considered this for a moment. "Or so help me, I'll take care of Kit's education myself."

"Right, no bad word usage I got it, I got it," She said. "But let's boil down to the actual story telling?"

"Ready when you are, pet." Spike said hitching Kit up higher into his embrace.

"Okay." Buffy said, he glanced at Spike meaningfully and waited for his nod before she continued. "Then let's take this inside."

She yanked open the door and stomped down the stairs followed by Spike holding little kit in his arms.

Angel made to follow, but was stopped by the vampire barrier. He coughed pointedly and Spike looked over his shoulder and gave a long suffering sigh.

"Come on in, Angelus."

Angel thought of correcting him, but decided against it. Spike knew well who he was, Spike was just reminding him of who had been.

And just like that he wished he really had staked his grandchilde.

To distract himself, he took in his surroundings. He had always been an appreciator of fine art and he had to say that the house was decorated tastefully, if a little different from what he was used to. The floor was a cherry tones hard wood that rose to a half panel on the wall. The wall paper was warm toned cream striped with gold and forest green that complimented it very well. The floor was covered with a Persian runner, Angel could have focused more, but Buffy led him through the hall and past the exquisitely taken photos. She briskly led him on into the living room full of Scandinavian furniture.

Angel was grateful he didn't have time to examine the photos. Each depicted a happy smiling member of the family of herself, Spike and their daughter. Sometimes even Buffy was in it. He just couldn't see them. It was too painful.

So they settled around the over-stuffed couches and as soon as Buffy opened her mouth, the door burst open and a man dashed in. he went straight for Buffy and Spike, he didn't seem to see Angel.

"Buffy, Spike, He's coming! You're sire, He's on his way!"

Spike's eyebrow quirked.

"Seems to me you're a little on the tardy side, mate." He said slight a slight smirk and a jerk of his head towards his seated sire.

"Oh."

"Doyle?" Angel said.

"You know him then?" asked Spike with a curious tilt of his head.

The raven haired Irishman nodded.

"Foreteller of Destinies emissary of the Powers remember?"

Buffy smiled and shook her head gesturing for Doyle to take a seat.

"And big with the whole ambiguous thing." She said. "Really, Doyle, does the mysterious thing come with the emissary package or do you just use it to pick up girls?"

"Hey, slayer, I just tell it like I'm told. S'not my fault the news isn't cheerfully received." He waved away Buffy's offer and looked around for his Godshild. He saw her fearfully clinging to her father. "What happened to Kittie Kat?"

Kit seemed to snap out of whatever stigma she had of seeing her father staked and bounced back with a resilience that seemed only able to come with children.

Or slayers.

"Kittie!" she corrected haughtily. She was always trying to get rid of the nickname 'Kat'. She insisted that she was not a cat and therefore should not be called one. She scrambled off Spike's lap and presented herself to her uncle Doyle, waiting to be carried.

As he picked her up, Doyle was forced to pick up on something else. There was a palpable tension in the room. He really should have known. This situation took 'the ex from hell' to a whole 'nother level.

"Ah, right," said the emissary. "Listen. I'll take Ka-" it took one pointed look from his charge before he corrected himself. "Kittie, to the next room and fix her some ice cream." She perked up at the ice cream. "And you all can sit here and talk things out, Yeah?"

"Hey, Doyle," Angel spoke up before half demon disappeared into the kitchen with Kit. "You came all the way from Sunnydale to warn them?"

Doyle shrugged.

"They needed to know." He said before ushering the little girl into the kitchen for the promised ice cream.

Angel turned to Buffy and raised a questioning eyebrow at her indulgent smile.

"Oh please, he hitched a ride with one of some friends," she explained sagely. "Anyanka. She teleports." And then off Spike's look she sobered up. "And you're here. So Why is that?"

Angel cocked an eyebrow, as the pair seated themselves on the couch. Knowing it would give Angel a major wiggins, Buffy didn't snuggle into her husband's embrace, instead she just reached for his hand illicitly under the cover of his duster and entwined their fingers. This was going to be a difficult visit to say the least and she needed his support just as much as he needed hers.

"What do you mean?" the elder vamp asked.

"She's wondering what the hell you're here, peaches." Spike supplied as he searched through his pockets for a pack of Marlboros.

Buffy nodded.

"What sort of un-speakable evil is wracking Sunnydale?" she asked as she reached over and plucked a pack from his right duster pocket and handed it to him. He smiled gratefully. "I mean something's got to be going on for you to tap me right? What gives?"

The intimate gesture didn't loose itself on Angel, who narrowed his eyes. Everything about this place made him feel like he was back in hell. Well, actually hell was better then this.

Spike smirked as he slipped the fag between his lips and lit up.

"So?"

Angel took a deep breath. They weren't going to like his answer, but he needed to say it.

"There's nothing really going on Sunnydale." He said quietly.

Silence.

"Huh?" Buffy said, she got up from her seat. "I'm sorry. I meant, HUH?"

Angel looked at his feet.

"I said there's nothing massacring Sunnydale." He looked up at Buffy. "And even if there was, Faith-Faith is a slayer, she can handle it. It's just, we've been searching for you for seven years, Buffy. I couldn't just-its _you_. We could never give up on you, Buffy. They assumed the worst when you and Spike disappeared after-uhm-after-"

"After I sent you to hell?"

Angel flinched and Buffy rolled her eyes.

"They've been searching for you-we-I never gave up on you Buffy."

Buffy crossed her arms.

"And did you think for a moment that I gave up on you?" she said. "Angel, I sent you to hell because you killed people, and if something happens you'll kill _again_, now, I can't let that happen. And Somehow you're back, and everything hunky Dorey? Do you think I'm the same girl as I was back in Sunnydale, the same _person?_ A lot has happened since you _left_, Angel."

"Buffy, I-"

"You what? Hmmm? You come after me barging back into my life just when I was happy? Not even trying to contact me first or provide some sort of reconnaissance? No, once again you're Angel and you have to ride in on the damn white horse and ruin everything that I've-"

She knew she was babbling. She also knew that she was not making any sense she really wasn't being fair. But this was not the time for her to be sense-girl. She was just so confused and frustrated, and she really didn't want Angel to be here now. Staring at her like a kicked puppy. Reminding her of what she had left behind.

None of this should have happened.

It was just so unfair, the Powers just couldn't leave her alone. She was happy, she had made a new life after Sunnydale. She had Spike and Kittie and her friends. And now Angel was back to ruin it. She could feel the anguish wash over her and the floor rushing to meet her and the pounding of her blood in her ears all at once.

And then Spike was there, pulling her into his embrace and rocking her slowly. She melted into his embrace and felt the intense need for tears vanish.

She was safe in his embrace. Seven years, they had been together and Spike knew her better than anyone else-it was cheesy and corny but true. Knowing that he was around actually helped her a great deal.

"Spike-"

"Shhh, luv, I know." He whispered low and huskily in her hear. "I'm here."

"And so's he." She whimpered into his chest, feeling his arms tighten around her. She shook her head. "I don't want to deal with him, Spike I don't want to talk to him. I'm surprised I made it this far without turning into a complete mess."

"You're doing great, pet." He assured her. "No one should have to deal with ex's from hell."

Buffy nodded and relaxed. She could hear Spike talking to Angel over her head. Asking him if it was only him who had come to see them, and getting an affirmative, and then he was talking to her.

"I'll deal with, Peaches, luv." He said, he pulled away slightly and smiled at her. "I'll fill him in and send him on his way. You go ahead and get some ice cream."

She had never been so grateful to Spike ever in her life. She knew she was going to have to deal with him sooner or later, but before she did she was going to need some major ice cream. And a Kit-cuddle.

"I'll have to-"

Spike smiled and nodded.

"I know, pet." He said. "But take your time."

Buffy nodded, she stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his, he responded instantly. And for a moment, everything faded into the background, and then Spike pulled away.

"Go on." He said. "I'll take him into the study."

Buffy nodded, with one last pissed off look at Angel she disappeared into the kitchen. Angel made a move to follow her but was stopped by a suddenly adamant and vicious Spike. He grabbed Angel's shoulder in vice grip and narrowed his frigid blue eyes.

"You take one more step and I'll be having your bones for my bread."

Angel seemed to have snapped back to his regular hostility towards the more volatile vampire.

"You and what army?" he demanded making to shrug off Spike's hand.

Spike, however, tightened his grip.

"Me and the Gem of Amarra."

Angel felt his jaw drop not for the second time that night.

He had thought it was a myth. They had all thought it was a myth, and yet Spike had found it.

Despite himself, Angel was interested. And despite his overwhelming, desperate pain he wanted to know what had happened with the two of them. Call him a masochist but he needed to know.

"You said you'd fill me in?"

Spike's mouth twitched into a smile that held no warmth and no mirth. He then opened a cherry toned door with the same flourish he had always used and waved him inside. He arched a challenging eyebrow.

"Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly."


	19. Amsterdam, part VII

**Author's Note: **Hey everyone, please don't kill me. I know That this chap has been long in the making and that's mostly because I was out of the country for a while. Sorry bout that i put up a long one just to make up for it! Okay, first off to address the 'Dutch' thing, I admit it, I use a translation website-don't pet me with tomatoes! I don't really speak dutch, just English, a little French anda very little of a few Asian languages since My Da (happy father's day!) moved us out here. So I've stopped using the Dutch, and anything in Dutch, doesn'treally need to be translated, because its there just to make me look cool.-and doesn't do anything to further the story. Secondly, I got nominated in an awards! ohmigod! I was really scared to post this because I worried that it wouldn't be up to par.(I also ignored the 'Choose their own adventure and made Angel come alone. Don't worry the scoobies will be back soon.) So vote for me at Love's last Glimpse awards -I'm not sure what the ettiquette for awards are, I've never won anything- and this chap is for whoever nominated me! and made my day! (you know what else would make my day? Winning:) just kidding. hahaha) ALSO, this is my big Angel bashing chapter and he is going to be a little whiny and wimpy-just figure thathe thinks he drove the woman he loved into madness and never really got forgiveness. Also got to figure, he never had the calming influence of Buffy's care after coming back from Hell and he had to deal with the hostile scoobies. The details of all of this are coming soon.

whoew! That was a long one. Now, on with the tale:

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**Chapter XIX – Amsterdam: A Study in Sage**

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Spike's study was his favorite room in the house and he spent many of his waking hours here. It was all manly and wood paneled, the furniture was done in matching dark walnut and the colour schemes stuck to the earthy greens and darker reds. There were several suede maroon easy chairs and burgundy upholstered stools. The walls that were not covered by shelves were painted a sage green. Several photos were hanging in the areas not dominated by books and electrical equipment.

"Those are really uh, nice photos." Angel said, glancing at a photo of the little girl pretending to be one of the queens guards-complete with the hat. The next one showed Buffy and Spike facing each other under the bridge of sighs in Venice, they didn't seem to know the picture was even being taken. There were more pictures, but Angel had to look away looked away. It was so painful.

Spike turned to him and nodded.

"Buffy took that one." He said nodding to the photo of little Kit. "Some people in our tour group took the others."

He walked behind the big desk and sat down. He gestured to the various other seats for Angel to sit down as well.

Angel nodded uncomfortably there were even framed pieces of paper with shapes painted on them in different colours, they were mounted and back lit like real master pieces.

"Who did those?" he asked curiously, he wondered when Spike all of a sudden become an art enthusiast. William had always been very vocal to Angel about how Nancy the elder vamp was being for being all about the opera and art and what he called the 'Frilly cuffs and collars' crowd.

Spike smiled at them fondly.

"The bit." He answered. The fatherly pride was evident in his voice. "She found er-_impediments_ in her artistic ability and she said if she was not going to draw humans if all she could manage was stick figures." He shrugged and shook his head. "But she's far past that now. She likes drawing fish the most."

Angel nodded, noticing the more recent looking shaky fish in various different colours on blue backgrounds with twirl-ly lines he could only assume were sea plants.

They sat in silence for a little bit longer. Finally Angel had to speak.

"Spike, you said you were going to-"

Spike stood abruptly and pulled out a bottle of premium aged whisky. He held it out to Angel.

"Fancy a drink?"

The elder vampire nodded and Spike set a decanter in front of him, filling it with a few fingers of the amber liquid. He poured himself a less than generous helping and set the liquor aside.

"Right, then." He said settling back into his seat behind the desk. "I don't know where to begin really."

Angel nodded. He took a swallow of the drink before nodding for his grandchilde to continue.

"Look, Spike," he said lowly, he was still angry with the peroxide vampire sitting across from him, he still wanted to stake him through the heart after long hours of grueling torture, but he accepted that right now, he needed answers. Maybe he could somehow get Buffy out of the thrall that Spike had her in. "It's not like it all didn't already happen. Just begin at the beginning and end when I showed up."

Spike set his jaw but nodded.

"Very well." He said taking a deep breath. He then outlined the events of the last seven years, telling his grandsire precious little about the details their life together and focusing mostly on how he found and retrieved the gem of amarra.

"-it was all there." Spike said, "I just offered Doyle 10 of what he found."

Angel glared at Spike.

"That wasn't what I was interested in Spike." He said. "What did you do to Buffy?"

"She came with me." Spike answered simply.

"What?"

"She. Came. With. Me." The younger vampire repeated as if he was talking to a toddler who didn't understand English.

"There has to be more than that." Angel said narrowing his brown eyes. It was a statement not a question. He had expected some sort of persuasion on Spike's part. "Did you put her in thrall?"

The younger vampire froze, highly insulted and enraged that Angel had accused him of what was basically rape.

"I would _never_ in a million years force myself on a girl." He hissed dangerously, his wordage and accent immediately slipping back into the rougher lower class cockney he cultivated in his 'scourge' years. "Takin' something a chit wasn't offering was your bag, _Angelus._"

Angel flinched.

He was right. Spike had never-even in his worst years-forced himself on a woman. Seduced and taken advantage, but never raped, everything was consensual.

It had been him who raped. And killed and pillaged and maimed and tortured and killed and insulted and sullied and stolen and killed.

He steeled himself, pushing away the heart wrenching guilt to be dealt with later. He convinced himself that Spike was hurting Buffy in someway and it was his duty to get to the bottom of it.

"There has to be more than that, William."

Spike conceded, seeing the anguish and feeling strangely juvenile for causing it. He had the girl, he had the life, might as well just give the wanker what he wanted and let him be off.

"Right," he said impatiently deciding that he wanted more than anything to just have the great poof turn tail and never come back. "After she had to send you to hell for killing the watcher's pet gypsy," Angel flinched. "Torturing her watcher and forcing her though the bloody mind games you are oh-so fond of," he looked down ashamed. "She got fed up with you-killed you." Spike could have sworn he saw tears in the elder Vamp's eyes. "Oh bloody snap out of it. She's over it, bout time you're get over it to."

Angel glared at Spike.

"I just need her forgiveness." He said.

Spike snorted.

"And you'll be hard pressed to find it." He said helpfully. "So Anyway, then came with me to start again in a new town, a new country and a new continent-she found out than vampires don't need bloody souls to give a damn about others. Since then, she's never left my side."

It was the closest he would come to telling Angel what was really between him and Buffy.

And already the poofter was assuming brooding position.

Spike paused and internally laughed at Angel's tortured and kicked puppy routine. The poof suddenly looked like his insides had just been ripped out and then chewed up, spat onto a plate and _then_ offered to him.

"Oh, Bloody quit your whining, you ponce." Spike snapped smirking at the reaction he elicited. "She isn't here to see your gut wrenching display."

Angel's face snapped back to an indiscernible mask and Spike could hear him growling softly. He had noticed that Spike had not touched his alcohol, a simple action like that was pretty telling. His Grandchilde who previously drank any alcohol he could get his hands on, now Spike hadn't touched a drop. However, he let the thought pass without comment. He wasn't able to concentrate on the significance, too distracted with Buffy's lingering scent on Spike.

"Get on with it." He growled shutting out the possibilities that his senses elicited.

Spike glared at him, and then let of slowly, realizing just how terrible this was for Angel. So of course, he was going to have to do everything in his power to make it that much worse.

"What good will this do you, peaches?" he asked seriously. As much as he loved to jerk ol' Forehead's chain he really didn't want to have to deal with all his soulful nonsense. Plus if the git started crying it would ruin the suede seat he was sitting on. "You hear the story about how The Slayer and I got to where we are? You wanna know the truth?"

Angel snorted.

"I really don't have much of a choice do I?" he snarked. He expected to get a rise out of his volatile grandchilde, some sort of reaction, but Spike held firm. "After what I did? I don't get forgiveness. I mean Only the Powers that be-the people that _chose_ Buffy forgave me and took me out of hell. But Buffy-"

"No." he said in quiet rage. "You don't get any sort of say after what you did to Buffy."

Angel was surprised at the response, Spike had not yelled it, not ever raised his voice, and yet his tone belied that Angelus had not been forgiven. Nor would he be soon.

It was more effective than if Spike had roared at full volume.

Spike snapped out of it, almost immediately. A few moments ago he had actually felt sorry for the broodster. He knew what it was like to be kilted by a woman who was your world, but now he remembered just _who_ Dru had left him for and, more importantly, just _who_ had nearly broken his Buffy. At this point his demon demanded vengeance but he willed it down. If he lost his temper now he would loose his edge, and the next part was so much fun.

The bleached blonde vampire almost grinned in perverse amusement. He knew what he was about to say was going to rip Angel to shreds.

"You brought us together, you know." He informed the dark vampire. "When you had that moment of pure happiness-just YOU by the way, she didn't quite make it- you began pushing her to me. And when you took Dru away, you pushed me to her. This, Angelus, is your fault."

The anguish on Angel's face made Spike snicker, he really couldn't help it. Really, it had nothing to do with the great poof, but he couldn't help but phrase it that way just to torture the sadistic bastard that much more.

"So," he said in a cruelly cheerful manner. "How's Sunnyhell?"

Angel didn't reply, lost in a sea of guilt and despair. His beautiful, perfect Buffy had been tainted. Spike was right, for once, it was all his fault. He had snuffed out Buffy's light and left only darkness. He had caused it. He had broken her.

Angel was so lost in his brooding thoughts that he didn't hear the door open and Buffy walk in. She saw Spike leaning forward in his seat, a trademark smirk on his face and his finger steepled in front of him, trying very hard not to laugh.

She studied him for a minute, despite his cockiness and amusement she knew that there was an underlying pensive-ness. She turned to Angel to find him staring off into space. She waved a hand in his face and when she got no reaction turned to her husband.

"What did you do, Spike?" she demanded of him. "He looks like he swallowed a sock."

His last words had actually got him thinking. Dammit! That was supposed to make Angel brood! Bloody mood swings. Having His grandsire here was complicating everything. It brough up a lot of questions he didn't want to ask. Like would she stay with him? Would she want to go back to Sunnydale? He was so distracted he didn't even shoot her a strange look for her analogy.

"Told him that what happened between us was all his fault." He said truthfully. He jerked his eyebrows. "Told him he pushed us together."

Buffy's eye widened.

"But that is so not true!" she said. "What happened between us was-" and then she realized why Spike had looked so tickled when she entered. "-you said it on purpose didn't you?"

Spike grinned.

"What can I say, pet?" he asked folding his hands behind his head and leaning back in his leather chair. "M'evil."

Buffy rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers at a catatonic Angel.

"Hey! Brood boy!" she said sharply. "Hey! Angel! Oi!"

All this emotion must really be exhausting him, she thought, but this drama was beginning to get really very tiresome and she wanted nothing more than to just send Angel on his way and get on with the life she had built. The Life that she had made when Angelus-Angel had robbed her of her last one.

She really liked this one better, and now he was back to ruin it again.

And just like that, she felt her inner slayer lock into place. She had been shocked and frustrated before, now she was just pissed.

Spike saw the shift and decided not to intervene, he was just going to sit back and watch the fireworks. All his life-and unlife, He had always felt second best. It was a feeling and inner turmoil that Angelus had promoted, now the vile sadist turned prancing poof was going to have a taste of his own medicine.

"ANGEL!"

The tall broody one snapped back to reality and peered at Buffy with betrayal soaked eyes. He was so focused on his pain that he didn't see the danger in hers.

"Buffy?" he said in an anguished, tortured-emotion choked voice. He stood up and took a step towards her, ready to take her hands in his if he needed to entwine them with hers to assure her of his real-ness. He seemed to have repressed most of what Spike had told him and the events of the last few hours. "I fought through hell to get back to you! And I find you here-with _him_. How could you Buffy?"

Buffy's eye widened, an expression Angel took to mean guilt and pain and he took her hands in his big-meaty ones and almost crushed them in an effort to declare that he was _there_, back from hell. He had come back to her.

He was actually surprised when she whipped them away.

"Have you not been listening to a single thing we've been saying?" she demanded angrily, finally fed up with all of this babble that the dark vamp had been babbling. "Are you just being delusional?"

Angel shook his head.

"Buffy, whatever thrall Spike has you in I'll make him relinquish it." He said gently. "I promise."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I so can't believe this." She said throwing her hands up and then placing them down on Angel's shoulders. He seemed pleased at the contact until he realized that Buffy was pushing him down onto a chair. "Angel, get it through your thick skull-I'm not enthralled-Buffy. I'm just happy-Buffy who is in love with her husband and whose husband loves her. I'm also family-Buffy with my little baby who is with her godfather in the other room. This is my life now and you have come back to ruin it." She paused- making sure Angel was listening. "Look, Angel, you and I? OVER. Pretty much over since the moment you threatened my friends seven years ago. You never loved me. You loved the _idea_ of loving me."

"B-b-but we were soul mates!" Angel insisted sounding petulant and not a little desperate. This slip of a girl meant the world and all of heaven to him, and here she was standing in front of him in all her glory, something he thought he would never see ever again. It was a scene from his dreams. And-in a scene from a nightmare-she was choosing his crude grandchilde over him.

Buffy burst out laughing. She glanced at Spike to see if he could join her in her mirth but was flabbergasted to see that he was watching the scene seriously. She could feel his insecurity, a sudden timidity that she knew he hadn't felt in a very long while.

And that pained her.

She knew that this situation needed to be handled carefully and finally. Spike had suffered under Angel since he was turned, and suffered under others before that. His hardened shell was a farce and Buffy knew he had not yet really gotten over all of it. Even if Spike _knew_ she loved him, now that Angel was back in the picture, he couldn't help the tendril of fear that plagued and prodded him.

Buffy could feel it, it was one more thing to hate Angel for.

"I can't believe you just said that!" she said, her laughter switching off as suddenly as it came. "First off, Angel, I'm not fifteen anymore-soul mate just sounds like a stupid cliché to me." She leaned forward to poke Angel in the chest. "_And_ second you kinda need a soul for the whole 'soul-mates' thing to work."

Angel looked confused.

"But, I did have a-"

"you didn't have a soul, Angel," she interrupted. "You never had a soul. _You_ had a _curse_."

Angel growled.

"And I supposed Spike has one?" he demanded jerking his head in his childe's direction. Spike stared back unwaveringly, but Buffy saw the slight uncomfortable shift.

She shook her head.

"Please. Nothing nearly that corny." She said dismissively. "Spike just doesn't need one."

She turned to her husband and was overwhelmed by the sudden unabashed joy, wonder and awe in his expression. She would have dropped into his lap at that moment and let the whole world melt away as she made love to him, but this situation needed to be dealt with. She contented herself to just wink at him saucily, hoping he caught her meaning. His lecherous smile and the answering bolt of lust that shot through them both was evidence that he had gotten the message.

"Besides," she said tearing her gaze away from Spike and looking back at Angel. He didn't seem to notice the exchange. "He's not and he will never be my soul mate." She said, ignoring the elder vamp's smug expression as she tilted her head, exposing her neck, the marks she knew Angel sensed but couldn't acknowledge. Well, she was going to _make_ the stubborn vamp acknowledge them. "I believe the technical term, Angel, is MATE."


	20. Amsterdam, part VIII

**Author's note: **(dodges tomatoes) okay, hey everyone and so sorry for leaving this one so long to simmer I am just so worried nowadays for my chapters and that they won't be up to par, because from this point on the chracters are going to be a little off kilter-after all they've had a lot of growth during the course of the fic. Secondly because of that nomination that i sorely wish i was worthy of! so here is the next installment for Katkot81! I too know the hazard of a summer job! keep on trudging.

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ChapterXX – Amsterdam: Reactions and Problems

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There are times when cell phones can be the most annoying contraptions in the world. Such times are during the climaxes of movies, during sex and when your one true-love and soul mate-that you have fought through hell to reach-That you have searched far and wide for-and risked flying at peak season on COACH-_and_ you love with every cell in your being has just told you that she has agreed to share a lifelong bond with the very last person in this world (or the next) that you would ever want her to leave you for (you would seriously rather she were dead, in hell and in torment than she be with this guy).

It was in this last scenario that Angel's phone played the opening bars to 'Mandy'.

The anticlimactic disturbance was punctuated with a mocking comment from Spike, who seemed to have gained back his cocky attitude at Buffy's revelation.

"You, peaches, have bleeding tragic taste in music."

Angel, growled at him-and wanted to do ever so much more- but he checked the caller ID and knew that he needed to take the call. He had forgotten to inform the Sunnydale group of the happenings in Amsterdam.

He was however stung when Buffy agreed with the peroxided asshole.

"What?" he demanded into the innocent piece of metal.

"Angel?" Giles's electronic voice sounded a little worried.

"I'm in the middle of something, Rupert." Angel snapped.

"Are you?" the eagerness in the watcher's voice was palpable.

"Yes." He bit out between clenched teeth. "A very bad something."

"er, well," the watcher continued sounding slightly crestfallen. "It's appears that we are too. Perhaps you can get to a land line? This may take some time."

Angel glanced up at the two blondes. They were both staring at him questioningly He covered the receiver and addressed them.

"Do you think I could-"

"Telephone?" Buffy asked.

Angel nodded.

Buffy gestured to the phone on Spike's desk. Angel picked up the receiver, and was about to remind them that he was making an international call, but when he glanced towards them, he had to look away.

Spike had pulled Buffy on to his lap and kissed her, tenderly cradling her head in his hands. When he finally pulled away he smiled at her.

"Possessive, insecure bastard." Buffy said with a smile, she pressed her forehead to his. "You already knew all of that stuff."

Spike nodded.

"But hearing you say it-especially to the poof." He said, closed his eyes for a moment. "Words fail me, love."

Buffy laughed softly.

"Good." She said. "You have better uses for that mouth."

And then she kissed him again.

Angel was barely able to smother a growl. He focused on his conversation with the watcher as Giles picked up on the other side. Anything to drown out the words being shared by the two blondes.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well, to be quite frank-"

"Spit it out, Giles."

"The apocalypse." The watcher said. "It seems this new, er 'villain' that has rolled into Sunnydale has proved herself invulnerable to Faith's attempts to destroy her. We could use all the help we can get. Come back here as soon as you can. And if you find-" there was a long pause. "-Buffy, tell her she's sorely needed," another pregnant pause."and sorely missed."

"I- uhm, I'll see you tomorrow, Giles." He said, he lowered the receiver and then cleared his throat to separate the blondes. "It appears we have a problem."

Buffy arched an eyebrow, she slid off her husbands lap and crossed her arms.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "Like an apocalypse-y problem?"

Angel nodded.

"This is the job for the Slayer, Buffy." He said. "Faith can't fight her, But you're much older than Faith, much more experienced. The world needs you, Buffy."

Buffy took one long unreadble look at him and then turned on her heeland walked out the door.

Spike snorted and shook his head.

"Way to mosey into her good graces, Peaches." He said with a roll of his eyes. He stood and swaggered after his wife. "You'd better let me handle this one."

A lot of things were running through Buffy's mind as she strode away from Angel. She needed to just be a place that was elsewhere. The growing distance between her and the brooder and the reassuring vibes her mate sent her, were helping a great deal. She walked into the kitchen to see Doyle and Kit just where she had left them when she had gone to check on Spike and Angel and make sure they weren't trying to kill each other.

She didn't want Angel blood on her nice carpets not matter how much she wanted to kick his ass up and down Main Street.

Kittie spooned a large helping of Strawberry ice cream into her mouth and gave her mother a look that was as knowing as one could expect from a four year old child.

"Is the big one gone, mum?" she asked in Dutch.

"No," Buffy sighed, pulling the girl into her arms and getting her much needed Kit-cuddle. The little girl sensed this and immediately wrapped her own arms around her mum. Buffy reveled in the comfort her daughter brought her. And smiled her thanks as the little girl pressed as kiss on the slayer's cheek.

"I take it, the big forehead-ed one said something along the lines of going back to California?" Doyle asked, it was more of a statement then a question.

Buffy nodded, Doyle had learned the language long ago. So he was comfortable with the Dutch dynamic.

"Doyle, I don't want to go back to the states." She said miserably. She let go of Kit and threw herself onto a stool. "I don't think he gets that the whole slayer over the hell mouth thing is really not my problem. Really not my thing anymore." She looked at him miserably. "I don't suppose you were sent by the powers to give us another important update?"

Doyle sent her an apologetic smile.

"I'm afraid so, Buff." He said.

"You serious, Doyle?" she asked deflated-ly. "This thing is really meant for Spike and I to come barging in and saving the day?"

Doyle frowned thoughtfully but shook his head.

"Well, I got the vision of the hell and death and blood and stuff if that's what you mean." He offered. "But the powers weren't telling me to come to you in particular. I came to warn you about Angel and to give my goddaughter her much awaited birthday present. Not to go on about the end of the world. I was going to mention it though."

Buffy stood, seeming more relaxed now that she knew that the powers didn't seem to be tapping her specifically.

God she hated the powers. Whenever she saved the day, whenever she was tapped, she just felt so used.

Deciding not to dwell, she walked over to the fridge fixed herself a generous second helping of coffee Ice cream.

"Really?" she asked spooning the creamy confection into a bowl. She decided to steer the topic clear of slayage. She didn't think Kit knew what an apocalypse was and by her questioning looks, Buffy could tell she was listening to their conversation. "I didn't think you brought anything with you."

Doyle shook his head.

"Didn't'." he said. "I was about to board a plane when I ran into Anya and she popped back in to drop off my bags. She even warned me that some hooligans were trying to 'run a while whilst taking your material possessions'."

Buffy laughed.

"So what did you get her?" the slayer asked. "I hope its not one of those play dough things again because those hardened up like a big crusty gross mess."

Kit grinned at her mother. It was an expression that would have even the bravest of men shaking in their shoes.

"Super soaker." The girl said.

Buffy blanched.

"A super soaker?" she exclaimed, mentally thinking of all the trouble her daughter could get into with the glorified water pistol.

"For Kit and that bastard husband of yours."

Buffy glared at him.

"Do you know what kind of trouble Kittie could get into with that thing?" she demanded, and then immediately realized something much, much worse. "Do you know what kind of trouble SPIKE could get into with that thing? Kit's Teacher ALREADY hate me!"

Kit grinned in a stunning imitation of her Dad and then went back to her ice cream which really was more interesting than watching the grown ups fight.

"You're the slayer!"

"Doyle!"

"Slayer?"

Buffy turned to see Spike walk in and she immediately forgot the light hearted argument she had been having with Doyle. Spike tilted his head to one side a clear invitation to join him in the hall. She cast an apologetic look at Doyle and followed her mate out.

Boo. Serious thoughts.

"I don't want to go." She informed him as soon as they had gotten out of the kitchen. She cocked her head and struck a defiant pose. "And you can't make me."

Spike stared at her incredulously. Then decided to change tactics. she obviously didn't want to disscuss this head on.

"Sweetheart, I could make you do anything." He said tucking his tongue behind his teeth and leering at her. She sent him a dirty look and he sobered immediately. He sighed. Didn't seem like she wanted to skirt the issue immediately. "If you don't want to go, pet, we don't have to."

Buffy nodded.

"But you want to." she said looking down.

"Well, yeah." He said honestly. "I _like_ this world." He paused, letting her remember that night years ago when their lives had changed forever. "But more importantly, my girls are in this world and that makes me want to make sure it stays around for a little longer."

"But you know what I hate?" she said throwing up her hands in frustration. "The whole guilt trip. I mean, I'm so sure I missed out on like a whole lot of apocalysises-"

"Apocalypses, pet."

"Apocalypses," she conceeded long since used to Spike's obsessive correcting ofher grammar. "But now I _know _about this one. And that makes it that much harder. Because now I could theoretically not go but then worry about it. They told me about it and made it my problem and now I have to be homing beacon Buffy and trot back to hell mouth like a good little puppy." She crossed her arms. "Well, I'm not doing it."

Spike looked at her carefully, then he cupped her cheek gently and wiped away the two tears that leaked out of her eyes. She hadn't even realized that she was crying. She had done a lot of crying today, sadness and anger, but this was different, this was absolute dread and frustration, a lot more powerful and lot more subtle than her mere pissed-of-ness at Angel. She had to go back to life that she now hated given what she had.

"Okay, luv." Spike said reassuringly. he just stood there cupping her cheek gently, knowingthat shewould not be comforted any other way."Its your decision. It will all be okay. I promise."

Buffy nodded decisively and re-entered the kitchen to finish her ice cream. Apparently, she and Spike had been in the hallway longer than she realized because standing in the kitchen, next to Doyle was Angel a figure she pointedly ignored. Her eyes fell onto her little girl, kit had just finished her humungous serving of ice cream and had put her plate in the sink. She grinned at her mother and then frowned as she took in the suddenly moist eyes.

"Are you okay, mummy?"

Buffy thought for a moment and then nodded. She picked up Kit and twirled her around.

"Good." the little girl replied. "I was getting worried." the little girl paused for a long moment, studying her mum with eyes identical to her father's. "Are you sure about that?"

Buffy knew she was talking about something else, but she re thought everything she had said earlier.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't cool her heels while she knew there was an apocalypse going on. Not if she could do anything to stop it.

She'd do it for Kittie and her new family.

"No." she said pulling the little girl back into her embrace."But don't worry, sweetie. It'll all be okay."

She caught Spike's eye over her daughter head, and then cocked her head in confusion as he smirked at her.

He winked and then said,

"I've already got the passports."


	21. Back in Sunnydale

**Author's note:** So sorry, All! I had this chap done ages ago but i couldn't post it because Fan Fic wouldn't accept the file. Well, its all straightened out now. I'm so sorry this is late! This would be the end of those bloody confusing Amsterdam chapter names for a while. Who's great idea was it to name the chapters after the places they were anyway?

Oh and this one goes out to KatKot as usual because she PM'd me and made me feel special. Sorry i couldn't get to you earlier.

**Chapter 21 – Sunnydale: Full Circle**

Buffy was preparing to refuse point blank to EVER get into the junk heap that her mate liked to call a car. She mentioned it as they were going through customs, well, snapped at him about it really. She hadn't gotten much sleep on the plane Even if she was usually a good traveler. Her destination made her uneasy. Over the last seven years she had been all over the world, but she hadn't been back to California since she left.

She hadn't seen the slayer-ettes in years. She hadn't been the real hellmouth-protecting-vamp hating slayer in years.

"One foot in front of the other, pet." She heard Spike's voice rumble gently in her ear.

She turned towards him, he smirked at her, but she could see the worried glint in his blue eyes. He was carrying the oblivious, snoring Kittie in his arms, leaving her to push the trolley carrying their bags. He shifted allowing one arm to support his daughter's weight and then reached out for her.

"I just… I can't believe we're back here." She said lowly, abandoning the trolley for the time being and allowing herself to be hugged.

He nodded and Buffy could feel him tugging at the edge of her consciousness. He was trying to funnel away some of her dark feeling through their claim. She glared at him.

"Don't do that." She said.

"Jus tryin' to make it easier, pet." He said resting his chin on the crown of her head. "Always knew this day'd come."

Buffy smiled humorlessly.

"Yeah? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

He pulled away and flashed her his trademark smirk.

"We're assuming you'd even listen to me?"

She didn't even crack a smile, just sighed and looked down. Spike frowned.

"Buffy," he tilted her face upwards so that she would look at him. "Love, you are my heart, but you are so bloody stubborn sometimes. We left Sunnydale Seven Years ago but you and I both knew we would be back someday. For heaven's sake, pet, you left without saying goodbye to your mum."

Buffy's eyes filled with tears and Spike immediately felt like a git but he stood his ground. He knew she just needed to let it all out. All her apprehension and her frustration.

"My mom threw me out remember?" she said. "I was kicked out of school too and wanted by the cops and my friends would never have understood my devastation. They were too busy being relieved." She didn't have to remind him that he did understand her, didn't have to remind him of that day, that day when they had both been so devastated they never thought they would recover.

"Too right, pet," he said softly. "But the cops on the hellmouth probably don't focus too much on murders that can't be solved, you've finished with school and your mum, well she seems like the kind of lady who'd take you right back. She prolly never meant that rot in the first place."

Buffy looked uncertain so Spike pressed on.

"And besides, we're booking a suite at the Sheraton-we'll save the world and then we can snub our noses at the ungrateful sods of Sunnyhell and go back home"

Buffy smiled at that, Spike found himself smiling too, happy he could alleviate some of his mate's pain if only for a few moments.

"Sonja asked me if any Movie Stars lived out here," she said. "Can you believe it? She asked me to get her one of those 'star map' things. I kept trying to tell her that Sunnydale was two hours from LA. But she was all just go there and shoot em up-Reminded me that I'm a photographer and I need to go take photographs"

Spike snorted.

"I think it's safe to say that's one thing we _won't_ be doing."

Buffy smiled grimly.

"Right," she said. "Any chance we could add like fifty hundred other things to that 'we are safe to say we won't be doing'-list?"

Spike cocked his head to one side, they had finished up with customs and were now heading outside. He held the door open for her, it was a courtesy Buffy had become so accustomed to that she barely noticed it anymore.

"Would this list include by chance seeing your old friends and your watcher?"

She looked down but said nothing. Spike sighed and focused instead on looking for their ride, squinting through the Californian Sunlight.

"wish i brought a pair of bloody Sunglasses." he said breaking the silence. "Forgotten just how bright that bloody thing can get. Just seems that much brighter here."

"Its California." Buffy reminded him. "It's like the sun capital of the world. _California_ should so be called the Sunshine State, but Florida stole that title. I mean, just because they don't have anything but sun and old people they think they can mooch onto Cali's territory."

Spike the car he had arranged for to wait for them and turned back to Buffy.

"Looks like I hit a nerve there pet." He jerked his head in the direction of the car and Buffy followed smiling sheepishly.

"Had to visit Florida once to see my Grandparents." She said. "Other then the whole Disney-world thing it was disappointing."

"Yeah? never been."

"Seriously?"

"Old people and Beaches, slayer, not the most vampire-friendly place in the world."

"I thought you'd fit in with the geriatric crowd." Buffy retorted with a sly smile. "you've been a senior citzen for what, a hundred years now?"

Spike easily parried with a verbal retort of his own and they fell into the comfortable pattern. Once they got to the car, however, she froze. In front of her was a classic car, large and sleek and gleaming black with leather interiors.

"You got a new car?"

Spike smirked.

"Something like that." He said opening the back door and depositing Kittie on the seat, covering her with the Native American quilt he found rolled up back there. He then walked around the rear of the car to open the boot so Buffy could load their bags. They went through the motions of putting in their luggage and getting in the car in silence but once Spike got in behind the wheel Buffy turned to him a stricken expression on her face.

"What the hell are we doing here, Spike?"

Spike sighed as he pulled out of the air port and into the main High way.

"I though we've already had this conversation, pet."

Buffy nodded petulantly and then desperately searched for something to do, music was one thing she and Spike had barely ever agreed with so they kept the radio off unless they were listening to whatever Disney Soundtrack Kittie wanted to listen to.

"So, how did you arrange for this car?" she asked.

"Doyle." Spike replied by means of explanation. "Gave it to him when we left with the condition that we use it when we eventually came back. The Ol' Boy's still shackin' it up in LA, told me he'd drop it off as soon as Anya popped him back to California. He even left my old blanket in there, gave it a good washing of course."

Buffy looked at him strangely.

"So what you gave him a car and a blanket?" she asked incredulously. "That's kind of a strange combination, don't you thi-Spike! Is this the de Sotto?"

Spike tensed, knowing about his wife's mutual hate relationship with the de Sotto. T'was all his fault really for trying to teach her to drive in it before they left for Europe. It tended to stall more often than go and Buffy had point-blank refused to admit that it may have been her lack of driving prowess that had caused the problems. She had even gone so far as to mentione on the plane several times that she would never set foot in it again. He had just hoped Doyle had managed to refurbish the thing good and proper with some of the Amarra loot which he did. Now he has gone and opened his gob and she was scowling at him darkly.

"Now, Slayer," he said trying to placate her. "I just didn't think it was wise to go out and buy another car when we have a perfectly good one. Just sitting around."

"Spike, I swear to God-"

She was interrupted by Spike running the car straight through the 'welcome to Sunnydale' sign. The old car barely jarred as it smashed down the flimsy ply wood sign.

"Spike! You stupid Sod!" Buffy exclaimed she completely forgot to berate him about the car and instead looked over her shoulder immediately to check on Kittie. The little girl snored away completely oblivious to her surroundings. Kittie could sleep through an apocalypse. "You could have killed us!"

Spike laughed and shook his head.

"I've done that a hundred times, luv." He said with a grin. "First of all, Nothing was going to happen I;ve done this before remember? second, S'a tradition, and third, Do you think I would ever endanger my girls?"

Buffy shook her head and sighed in resignation as Spike backed up and pulled back onto main street like nothing had happened. It looked just the same as it had before they left. Strange how nothing had changed at all. There were a few more franchises and it seemed Sunnydale was now a two Starbuck'd town.

"Still," she said unable to let go of what Spike had done. Letting go would mean thinking about being back and those were bad thoughts. "This could be like an omen. Its a bad idea I know it already."

"Buffy, love-"

"Spike, I need to go to the bathroom."

With a sigh Spike pulled over and let Buffy run into the first store she could get into, telling himself that his wife was just panicked and she would feel better once they got to Revello and Joyce had fixed her a cuppa or whatever. She was back in a few moments and they were off again.

Unfortunately five minutes later, Buffy told him pull over.

"You can't bloody well need it again!"

Buffy shot him a dirty look and opened the car door, forcing Spike to stop the car.

"And you say I'm endangering Kittie." he exclaimed screeching on the breaks. "You are completely off your nutter, woman!"

"Nope." She replied. "Just off to the bathroom."

She turned on her heel and flounced away. She was back in the car before he knew it and they were on their way again for about three blocks.

"Bloody slayer." Spike muttered under his breath as she made him stop and shot off once again. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and rolled down the window intent to chain smoke his irritation away.

"Dad!"

Kit seemed to have finally woken up. Spike tured in his seat to meet with the bleary, sleepy blue eyes of his daughter. She stretched, shook her head and then glanced around with more alert eyes taking in all of her surroundings.

"Yes, Sweet bit?"

She stopped her evaluation and peered at him and then glared at the little white stick.

"Cigarette." She said pointedly.

Spike looked back at his daughter in astonishment but she held her ground. He groaned replaced the cigarette into the pack and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Bloody hell." He said frustrated. "Can't take much more of this."

In reply, the little girl just grinned.

"You're pleased with yourself."

"Uh huh!"

Spike was about to grumble about her being 'too much like her bloody mother' when he saw the slayer approaching the car looking no less axious than she had when she left it.

"Morning Mum!" Kittie greeted as Buffy entered the car and shut the door after her.

"Morning, Sweetie."

Kittie leaned over to kiss her mum on the cheek.

"It's very diff'rent here in America." She informed her mother with all the gravity of a wizened old sage.

Buffy smiled.

"How is it different, Kittie?"

The little girl shrugged.

"Just is." She said maintaining her serious posturing for only a second before grinning. "Is this far from Mickey's house?"

"Very far, Sweet bit." Spike replied casting a knowing glace at Buffy which she didn't return.

"So we can't go there?"

"Kittie, we were just at Euro Disney last month."

"But that was _last month!_"

"Spike, I need to go to the bath-"

Spike immediately stopped the car with a loud screech. He mentally thanked who ever was listening that traffic wasn't all that heavy in Sunnydale. Kittie complained loudly in Dutch from her seat in the back of the car, Spike barked for her to close her eyes and the pulled Buffy to him for a fierce but split second kiss. Then he pulled away enough to look her in the eye.

"Buffy, remember that you aren't doing this for you." He said seriously. "You are doing this for her." He pulled her to his for another quick kiss then pulled away again. "And no matter what happens with the Scoobies and your mum-look at me, love, you will always have a home to go back to. You will always have Sonja and Max and Annie and Doyle and Kittie." He grinned. "Course, I'm a given. Told you once told you a thousand times, my love, you are stuck with me. So stop your bloody whining. It. is. going. to. be. alright."

Buffy nodded and took a deep breath, made to speak, but Spike beat her to it.

"Sides," Spike continued, his face softening, he ran a gentle finger down her cheek. "Are you really honestly telling me you don't want to see your mum?" he glanced at Kittie sitting still and stiff as a board, eyes squeezed shut. "If it was the Bit, wouldn't you want to see her?"

Buffy looked from her Kit to Spike and then scowled.

"I hate it when you make sense." She allowed finally. She slumped in her seat and crossed her arms.

"Yeah." Spike said smugly. "Get used to it, love. We are going to Joyce's house, because there is np way you are just going to pop into Sunnydale and pop out without facing some old demons. The less fun kind. You'll feel better. I promise." He glanced over his shoulder at Kit. "Can open your eyes now, bit."

Kittie did and smiled at her mum knowing instinctively that she wasn't feeling too great at the moment.

"What if it all explodes, Spike?" Buffy asked. "All the badness just erupts."

"You can deal with the apocalypse, love; you've dealt with them before."

"I'm-I'm not talking about the world ending."

Spike spared her a smiled and then reached over to grab hold of her hand. He brought it up to his lips for a gentle kiss.

"I know, pet." He said. "neither was I."

There was silence in the car for a long moment before finally,

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Sweetling?"

"Can _I_ go to the bathroom?"

(**Author's note:** For some reason, they won't let me use the lines. This was supposed to be a divider.)

Joyce Summers grunted and tugged at the string tied tight enough that her nails couldn't seem to unravel it.

She had just bought a new painting and she was as of yet unsure whether she wanted to sell it or not. She loved the colours and she was pretty sure it would look stunning… well, somewhere. Problem was it was quite large. She had driven from the dock where they had just shipped it in to her house on Revello very slowly. She had just strapped the painting wrapped in brown paper to the top of her car and she was nervous it would slide off.

Now she had to worry about picking in up and bringing it in. She mentally cursed her lack of Slayer strength and grace. Faith would have been able to pick it up and bring it into the house in mere seconds. probably mount it to. It was so useful to have a slayer in the house. And Faith had filled the void that Bu-she wasn't going to think about that. She had her girls, her daughter and the rough and tumble slayer she considered daughters. Dawn and Faith.

She finally managed to get it loose. It was awkward carrying the heavy canvas she needed to support it from under and on one of the sides and it completely obscured her vision. Well, it was a good thing she had walked this drive way so many times.

Slowly she made her way up to the door and then nearly fell on her face as she forgot about the steps leading up to the porch. She would have ruined the painting completely if a pair of capable strong hands hadn't steadied her. She thought for a second it was Faith, but these hands were large, masculine. Just then a British voice spoke from behind the wall the painting provided.

"Here, ma'am, Let me get that."

And just like that, her burden was lifted. Another, slightly familiar, slightly hysterical laughter tinkled.

"Ma'am?" it asked incredulously. "You called her ma'am."

And then the canvas was moved and Joyce got the shock of her life. Standing on the porch, right in front of the door was her eldest daughter. Her Long lost baby. Lost since the night she made the biggest mistake she had ever made in her life.

"B-buffy?"


	22. 1630 Revello Drive

**Author's note: **Hi, everyone please don't kill me i have a perfectly good reason for not updating for two months. Seriously its not even writer's block. A storm hit my city and it was really bad, city wide black outs no water etc etc, and for a few weeks I had no internet AND on saturday I have SATII so wish me luck I've been studying for that. There those are my excuses and the next chapter will be up and coming soon, I promise.

Also, most people like to immortalize Joyce as the perfect mother so I was a little worried about this chapter, but remember that Buffy and joyce did not end on good terms and even Joyce manages to bungle things up once and again. Tell me what you think. :)

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Chapter XXII – Sunnydale: 100 things NOT to do when your daughter Comes home

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The silence was complete. Neither woman moved a muscle, much less chanced a word.

Neither was sure what to say and both wanted to see what the other would. Both waiting for the other to make the first move.

Not even Kittie was talking, she knew something was up and was watching curiously. Not even the goofy picture her Daddy made as he shifted the painting around to hold it more comfortably distracted her. She was too busy studying this middle aged woman who seemed to be a major player. Kittie however didn't recognize her.

Next to her, Spike had lowered the absurdly large painting and had changed a look around. He could sense a deluge of humans all of a sudden. It seemed that the people of Revello Drive were interested in what happened in ol' 1630 and that was the last thing his slayer needed.

"Uhm, we should take this inside, yeah?" he said hesitantly shattering the silence and earning three grateful looks from all the Summers girls.

Joyce instantly snapped back to herself and unlocked the house, pausing at the door for only a mere moment before opening it wider to accommodate them. The damage was done, however, and Buffy flinched. She didn't move until Spike sidled up next to her. He gave her an encouraging smile and gently pushed her into the house. Mother and daughter went to the living room and sat across from each other stiffly. Silence reigned once again.

Spike put the painting down where it could lean against the wall and then turned around just it in time to scoop Kittie up into his arms before she barged into the living room. He thanked the powers that be for Vampiric reflexes.

"Oh-ho no, Sweetling," he whispered into her ear as she struggled. "Your mum needs some alone time."

"Who is that, Daddy?" Asked Kittie in Dutch.

"That would be your grand mum, nibblet."

Kittie peered at her supposed grandmother curiously then after a few moments shook her head.

"That's not my grand mum," she said levelly. "She and mummy would be hugging if she was my grand mum."

Spike smiled and shook his head. She was sharp as a tack, his Kittie. He adjusted her weight and smiled wryly.

"Don't you worry, bit." He said, glancing back towards His wife and her mother. "I'm sure they'll get to the huggin' part in just a little bit."

But they didn't get to the hugging. It felt as if it had been forever and yet they still sat across from each other.

Buffy had never felt more awkward in-well, she wasn't sure which was worse, seeing Angel again or this-she hadn't felt so awkward in twenty four hours. She mentally reminded herself that if she survived this she was going to kill-no, she could never do that-irreparably maim Spike.

That was if she survived this.

She glanced at her watch. FIVE MINUTES? There is no way FIVE MINUTES had passed. It had to be more than that.

And then just like that it got worse.

Joyce suddenly launched herself across the room and engulfed Buffy in a bone-crushing hug.

She knew that she really should have hugged Joyce back, but she couldn't bring herself too. So she just stood there stiff as a board until the elder Summer's girl finally pulled away, her face darkening with righteous anger.

"Seven years! Buffy Anne Summers! SEVEN!" she bit out. "Do you ever scare me like that again do you hear me? Seven Years!"

Spike put Kittie down and she ducked behind his duster as the yelling commenced. He patted his daughter's head comfortingly but said nothing, feeling the surge of rage from his mate through their connection.

And yet Joyce seemed completely oblivious to her daughter's tumultuous feelings and continued on her tirade.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been? Seven years! All the others-they-oh! God, Seven years!"

At this point Spike decided to step in.

"Uhm, Mrs. Summers-"

Joyce turned on Spike lethal fire shining in her eyes.

"That would be M_isses Summers_ to yo_-_"she stopped when she realized that the crass-looking punk standing in front of her had addressed her just as respectfully as she would have liked. Despite the slip up she recovered quickly and adapted a lofty tone. "Who are you?-and-" she peered at him closely. "Haven't I seen you before?"

Spike ducked his head.

"My name is William." He said with a shy smile. "William Raleigh."

Joyce waited for him to continue the polite address. Spike seemed about to do so but Buffy cut him off.

"You have met Spike before." She said coldly. "And don't patronize him, mother. He's much older than you are."

Joyce looked puzzled for a moment before it all clicked in her head. William the Bloody the one she had hit over the head with an axe all those years ago. The one who she had met before her daughter had left.

"Buffy, wha-"

Buffy stood abruptly, suddenly needing to be near Spike. She needed the touch of her mate.

"Mom," she said ignoring the light in her mother's eyes as she called her 'mom'. "A lot has changed in these seven years. I've changed. Spike-" she looked at him tenderly and then slipped her hand into his. "Spike is my husband."

"H-husband? Buffy? What? This is-"

"Too much?" Buffy asked. "Like it was too much seven years ago?"

Joyce had the grace to cringe before casting a black look at Spike. She had obviously been spending sometime with Giles and the Scoobies.

"He's a vampire, Buffy!"

"Oh, really?" Buffy asked sarcastically she put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "You think? You know, I've been married to him for five years and yet I never ever noticed!"

"He's evil, Buffy!" Joyce said backing away suddenly from the seemingly polite man Buffy called her husband. "A killer!"

Buffy's face closed up immediately.

"This killer, as you so eloquently put it, mom, was the one who told me that I needed to come here to see you. He was the one who insisted I give you the 'courtesy'." She said coldly. "I wanted to respect your wishes and never come back to your house again."

Joyce paled.

"Buffy you have to understand-"

Buffy wasn't listening.

"He wanted you to meet your granddaughter."

Whatever Joyce was saying she faltered at that. Buffy's face didn't change.

"Kittie-kat."

Kittie peeked out from behind Spike's legs at the mention of her nick name. She looked up fearfully at her grand mum.

Joyce was struck speechless as the little girl peeked at her timidly.

She opened her arms to give her a hug but Buffy shook her head.

"No, mom." She said. "We need to go. See Giles about this Apocalypse."

"Buffy-"

"No." Buffy repeated firmer now. "Things aren't alright between us. You're Mrs. Summers remember? I'm not-" she looked down. "I'm not saying that you'll never be grandma. I just- I just can't. Maybe some other-eventually. I think eventually I can do this but right now I just- where are the others?"

"The Magic Box." Joyce responded quietly.

With a curt nod, Buffy turned and walked out of the house she had once considered her home.

Spike took one more look at Joyce, seeing that the woman was starting to tear. She would crumble into full blown sobbing any moment now, but Spike needed to see to his mate.

He urged Kittie to go outside to her mother. Then he turned back to Joyce sympathetically.

"I left the painting in the hall." He said simply, and then hesitated before he added. "I'm sorry, Joyce."

She didn't both to correct him.

He thought the woman was too far gone to reply but she managed to choke out, right as he was at the door.

"It's my fault, Spike."

Outside, Buffy wasn't faring any better. Kittie was hugging her tight but The slayer seemed to be inconsolable anyway. Spike reached out and drew both his girls into his arms. As soon as she was in the comforting embrace of her family, Buffy had dissolved into tears. For a while they just sat there, together as Buffy cried. After a moment, however, Kittie pulled away and studied her mother intently, her head cocked to one side and one eyebrow slightly raised. She looked so much like her father that Buffy had to laugh. She pulled her daughter back to her and closed her eyes, letting the tears leak out anyway.

"You didn't give her an inch, love." Spike said gently.

Buffy sighed and looked down.

"She told me never to set foot in her house again."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"Pet-"

As soon as Spike got that tone of voice, Kittie pulled away.

"You're going to talk about grown up-y things aren't you?" she asked.

Spike and Buffy traded looks.

"Something like that." Buffy answered.

"Sweet bit, why don't you go colour in your book?" he suggested gently.

Kittie thought for a moment then nodded solemnly.

"Mum, are you okay?"

Buffy nodded.

"course, sweetie." She said. "I'm just a little shaky."

She hesitated for a moment before walking back to the car.

"I swear she's older than six." She said softly.

Spike nodded.

They ere silent for a long moment.

"That night that you were in the house, Spike," she said in a small voice. "was not the first time I mentioned Vampires."

Spike arched an eyebrow.

"What is this now, pet?"

"The last time I mentioned it, I was Kittie's age." She said. "It's a potential Slayer thing I think. I was institutionalized for a year." Spike's blue eyes widened. "Why do you think I never told them about my being a slayer? Don't you think it would have been so much easier for me if they knew? I couldn't tell them until I had proof and that night- we dusted a vamp right in front of her and she still didn't- I just can't-"

Spike held her tighter. Burying his face into the golden drown of her head.

"I'm so sorry, pet." He said. "You never told me. I wouldn't have pressed if I had known."

Buffy smiled ruefully.

"Yes you would have." She said. "But its okay. We'll work through it She just started yelling and I saw red and- let's go to the magic box?"

Spike made to argue but wisely shut his mouth and nodded.


End file.
